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Listening
Posted: Mon May 11, 2015 9:32 pm
by Firebird
In the long grass,
is it one
or two crickets
I hear?
Re: Listening
Posted: Tue May 12, 2015 11:28 am
by cynwulf
Nice, I think Basho wd approve.
Regards, C.
Re: Listening
Posted: Tue May 12, 2015 8:54 pm
by nar
Agreed... this is nice.
Is this too bold a suggestion?
"or only two crickets"
- nar
Re: Listening
Posted: Tue May 12, 2015 9:53 pm
by Firebird
Glad you both like it.
Nar, I understand why you suggest inserting 'only' at that point, but think it would push the reader a little much in one direction. It's a very nice suggestion though.
Many thanks for reading and commenting.
All my best,
Firebird
Re: Listening
Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 9:20 am
by Ros
enjoyed - captures the moment well.
Ros
Re: Listening
Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 12:42 pm
by Firebird
Thanks Ros. Glad you enjoyed it.
All my best,
Firebird
Re: Listening
Posted: Wed May 13, 2015 2:17 pm
by Mark101
It's probably 2, the little buggers are eating my garden to bits LOL.
I'm not usually a fan of this style, but your piece is thought provoking and I do like it.
Best regards
Mark