Snow White

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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nar
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Fri Jun 19, 2015 9:58 pm

half empty half fool
she consumed silver linings
from magic mirrors
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Moth
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Sat Jun 20, 2015 1:01 pm

Hi nar,

Not sure I entirely get the significance of consumed silver linings - I'm thinking this relates to SW finding her prince which then turns the piece on its head from what I thought it to be about, i.e. the foolishness of vanity and the superficial, though the title doesn't suggest this either. Not so Snow White might - more of a sneering comment about empty-headed fools being rewarded. I found the opening line inspired, and the final one good, so think something more is needed in between.
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
David
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Sat Jun 20, 2015 7:15 pm

Gnomic, Neil. It's an attractive read, but I'm still trying to untangle the complexities. Which is pretty good going for three lines.

Cheers

David
nar
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Sat Jun 20, 2015 10:05 pm

Hey, Moth.

Thanks for that. Useful to know where I've missed.

S'bout an addict.

Cheers...
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
nar
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Sun Jun 21, 2015 11:16 am

Thanks, David.

You know what I'm like, trying to cram a lot into a few, as ever.

Cheers...
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
cynwulf
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Mon Jun 22, 2015 2:35 pm

G'day Nar,

Ah! that explains it, not so gnomic after all. I must learn to think more laterally, like our lepidopteran friend I took the title too literally. Packs a lot in a small space.
Best, c.
Suzanne
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Wed Jul 08, 2015 8:06 am

Ahhhhh slip "line" in there somewhere.
Nice to see you nar.

X
Suzanne
David
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Thu Jul 09, 2015 6:59 pm

nar wrote:S'bout an addict.
I am so thick!

It's very good.
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