Hi Katherine
A very interesting poem and thread that highlights something that most long time posters will recognise. Over the years I've been a member of several boards and
currently post here and at one other site.
In my experience, all forums undergo a meltdown of one sort or another as the years progress, and cliques will inevitably develop. That's part and parcel, I'm afraid.
However, when any member feels excluded or reluctant to speak out for fear of reprisals or putdowns a silent departure usually occurs, with the cliques remaining intact. That's how it appears initially. When the majority of the membership feels the same way, an exodus is the most common outcome.
I was a member and moderator at the "old" TCP (The Critical Poet) for an age, witnessing all sorts of problems because of its sheer size. I won't bore you with the details but mod favouritism was cited by many as a major problem. Some mods were seen as antagonistic and vindictive if they were questioned about favouritism, members were attacked for becoming mods etc etc and the site eventually morphed into an unwieldy monster. So the membership rebelled and the site split, then it split again, becoming tcp.com and tcp.org with different admins and mods. I don't think it ever recovered. Tcp .org eventually folded and tcp .com has recently closed its doors for the last time. I used to visit occasionally to look in for old time's sake, but found nothing of the old TCP in place. A few former members who were doing their best to keep things going, but the forum's flagship had sunk. I can't even begin to tell you about the goings on and secret debates/scheming that took place in the "invisible" mods forum.
I don't think this forum is suffering from the same problem btw, at least not from my observations. I don't know what the stat's are or how many active members currently post here at PG or how many people drop in, only to drop out after a short spell. I honestly don't know but it would be interesting to analyse the results of any research. It would be a useful exercise.
Finally, some individuals will blow hot and cold, eventually becoming just plain cold. That's true of any site where any person positions themselves on a self-appointed pedestal. The real problem, and one that is particularly insidious, is the boycotting of members as a form of "secret" punishment. I would be shocked if I discovered that this practice was prevalent at PG. I've seen at other sites.
Many of the regular posters here at PG have been members for donkey's years, so an in-crowd persona has undoubtedly developed. There is a tendency to flatter your closest friends in all walks of society and when something is labelled as "contemporary" it becomes difficult for newer members to understand why contemporary "shit" is being applauded. Again, that's part and parcel, and the "in-crowd" will always win where the clique makes up the large majority of active participants. Busy boards have weaker cliques but more problems, small boards have stronger cliques with fewer problems. It will be interesting to note how your observations are met. (and mine for that matter)
Now! That's not to say that contemporary poetry is "shit", far from it actually. I think you're referring to the high praise that's often lavished on mediocre poetry/prose rather than slighting the form. Maybe you should highlight your concerns in the poet's thread. This would only work, of course, if your critiques were acknowledged with more than a nod.
Overall, I've been very happy here, with very good, sometimes excellent advice being offered by most members and mods. Ok, I have certain reservations but no doubt people have certain reservations about me. That's only fair.
You can't please all of the people all of the time, or as Abraham Lincoln once said,
"You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."
In the general scheme of things the scales of fairness must be
seen to be balanced. Some might argue that nobody's forcing you to stay, but I'm sure that's why you've raised the issue in the first place. You'd rather NOT leave, or be forced out.
Anyway, to your poem:
If you were looking for a reaction you've got one, and in that respect the poem works very well. I also think it's brilliantly delivered with just the right amount of invective to raise the eyebrows but enough restraint to appear as reasonable. It's clever, succinct and loaded. I wonder if the poem would have had the same effect if you'd left the footnote out of the picture. I think it would.
Your meter is flawless iambic tetrameter and even though I stumble a bit at L9 it reads very well.
You have fourteen lines that could easily, if you wanted, be presented as a sonnet in tetrameter. Shaky wrote a sonnet in 'tet', an early one, some say.
"Those lips that Love’s own hand did make
Breathed forth the sound that said ‘I hate’
To me that languish’d for her sake;
But when she saw my woeful state,
Straight in her heart did mercy come,
Chiding that tongue that ever sweet
Was used in giving gentle doom,
And taught it thus anew to greet:
‘I hate’ she alter’d with an end,
That follow’d it as gentle day
Doth follow night, who like a fiend
From heaven to hell is flown away;
‘I hate’ from hate away she threw,
And saved my life, saying ‘not you.’"
EG only
A butterfly did flutter by,
A trope, old rope – catastrophe!
Did flutter by? Archaic use!
And so, you’re open to abuse.
They could, of course, wish to astound
Oh, butterflies don’t make a sound!
They’re searching now, that second line
for palindromes they will not find.
That rope, rope, rope stuff is a bit
which interests - forget it’s shit!
I love this forum, but I find
a coterie, amidst the kind,
which gangs up on the kids who dare
to post their ‘babies’ over here.
OR
A butterfly did flutter by,
A trope, old rope – catastrophe!
Did flutter by? Archaic use!
And so, you’re open to abuse.
They could, of course, wish to astound
Oh, butterflies don’t make a sound!
They’re searching now, that second line
for palindromes they will not find.
That rope, rope, rope stuff is a bit
which interests - forget it’s shit!
I love this forum, but I find
a coterie, amidst the kind,
which gangs up on the kids who dare
to post their ‘babies’ over here.
The first is the traditional presentation for a Shakespearean sonnet in tet rather than pent, the second is Petrarchanesque (how's that for pretentious
) with an octave followed by a sestet. You could argue against the run on from the final quatrain of the first version to the couplet, but I quite like it.
Just a few thoughts for the pot. Make of them what you will.
Best
JJ
PS
The title's a tad harsh. Hope they don't take after Salome.
J
, but pleased you liked it.