Poetry Forum

Showbiz hacks report that he had met her
on the family farm when they were teenagers,
that at that time she weighed a whopping 500
pounds, but had lost weight for the ceremony
like a prize-fighter loses weight to make a fight.
"Sweated like a fat pig," is how haters online put it.
Some asked how the pop star could snog her
without the snout interfering, or her bristles
poking his eyes out, others went further,
informing us that she wasn't a virgin,
she was a gilt; and would be until
she had mated, then she would be just a plain
old sow. "Hello Magazine" publish a photo
of his hand holding her trotter, a specially made ring
encases the pink flesh, "it is refreshing"
the editorial says, "to see the doors opening,
for a new type of girl."

Interesting.

The title is awful though. Whatever you were trying to convey is immediately diminished by the title.

Maybe - "POP STAR MARRIES CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART!!" should be the title? It's far more alluring, and much less abstract.

I really enjoined the casual insightful speak:

but had lost weight for the ceremony
like a fighter loses weight to make a fight.

and that carried on with humour:

Some asked how the pop star could snog her
without the snout interfering,

and then some proper pig insider information:

"she was a gilt; and would be until
she had mated, then she would be just a plain
old sow."

I love a poem with learnED stuff involved.

Not sure about the last stanza, just seemed to be tagged on there?

I think the structure could do with re-organising, it doesn't present the content (which on the whole is great) very well at all.

Enjoyed.
TS

Cheers TS, you were "bang on" about the title, have amended to reflect that. It gels more now with what I was trying to project.

Interesting.

Interesting is good, what I was aiming for.