Idle Hands v3

[NotQuiteSure]

.
v3.
Dodon'ts


It isn’t nice to sting the pangolin
or worse, harangue orangutan
and why upset the murrelet
or sidle up to saigas and shout “boo”?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn’t wise to tease the weasel
or worse, alarm a lemur
and why disturb the bustard
or the panda bears that ponder their bamboo?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn't cute to quell the quetzal
or worse, deride a spider
and why be rude to boobies
or to pimplebacks, to wrasse, to cockatoos?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn't good to goad gorillas
or worse, to anger langur
and why demean a beetle
when it's beetling along in search of poo?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn't cool to mock a turtle
or worse, to taunt the crocodile
and why annoy anoa,
did anoa even once annoya you?

Haven’t you got better things to do?





________________




v2
Idle Hands


It isn’t smart to startle a lark
or worse, upset the murrelet.
And why make fun of salmon
or go sidling up to saigas and shout “boo”?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It isn’t wise to tease a weasel
or worse, alarm a lemur.
And why disturb the bustard
or the panda bears that ponder their bamboo?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It takes no nous to scare a mouse,
and less to mock a quokka.
Why fleer a deer, or quell a quail
or goad gorilla gorilla?

Why cock a snook at cockatoos
or stoop to taunt a turtle,
and why poo-poo the poor pudu
or cracking pearlymussel?

Why play a joke on antelope,
or worse, annoy anoa,
why come the rotter with an otter
(the coqui, or the creeper, or kagu)?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It isn’t kind to sting the tamarin
or worse, harangue orangutans.
And why be cruel to huemul
or go discommoding dragons on Komodo?

That’s a no, no, too.

Haven’t you got better things to do?




________________




Idle Hands


It isn’t smart to startle aardvark
or worse, upset an avocet.
And why make fun of salmon
or go sliding up to saigas and shout “boo”?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn’t wise to tease a weasel
or worse, alarm a llama.
And why disturb the bustard
or the panda bears that ponder their bamboo?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn’t shrewd to scare the shou
or worse, harangue orangutans.
And why attempt to quell the quail
or discommode the dragons of Komodo?

That’s a no, no.
It simply isn’t kind,
and so,
with that in mind:

do not mock a quokka, fleer a deer,
or goad gorilla gorilla,
don’t cock a snook at cockatoos,
or diss the pointy dibbler,

and do not laugh at the giraffe,
or stoop to taunt a turtle,
and don’t poo-poo the poor pudu
or cracking pearlymussel.

You really should have better things to do?



.

[NotQuiteSure]

OK Tristan. Have at it.

[Firebird]

Hi Not,

I will be back to this. Had my covid jab this morning and not feeling best good now.

Overall, though, I liked the most of it - especially the opening stanza - but would have preferred the ending to do something more. I do have more to say about the main body of the piece, but not now.

Cheers,

Tristan

[NotQuiteSure]

Hi Tristan,
no rush. Good news on the jab. Any thoughts on a better ending, when you’re up to it appreciated.

Regards, Not

[Macavity]

Not sure what the purpose of the write is Not? Something to do with wildlife presenters? I suppose, if you edit some of the creatures, you could have a child and parent visiting a zoo. Just feel it needs some framework and targeting...though perhaps it has and I'm not seeing it?

best

mac

[NotQuiteSure]

.
Hi mac,
something of an experiment (and a desire to get the ‘tease a weasel/alarm a llama’ worm out of my head.). It’s ‘purpose’ (and that’s really an overstatement) is a rather nebulous/simple ‘be good to nature’ - with an effort made to avoid anything resembling a lecture.

(NB. All the creatures in the latest version are on the endangered species list).

Regards, Not

.

[Macavity]

It’s ‘purpose’ (and that’s really an overstatement) is a rather nebulous/simple ‘be good to nature’ - with an effort made to avoid anything resembling a lecture.

I don't feel it's a theme to be shy of foregrounding Not, though I take your point of lecturing. Presently, the poem gives so much focus to the surface of sound plays that this becomes the purpose. I still feel a context or narrative is needed to progress the poem beyond its 'frivolity'.

And why make fun of salmon

How would you do that?

NB. All the creatures in the latest version are on the endangered species list)

That does provide a thread, though I found that the obscurity of some species left me disconnected and what about salmon/mouse? Anyway shoudn't the respect be for all species?

cheers

mac

[Poet]

.
v2
Idle Hands


It isn’t smart to startle larks
or worse, upset the murrelet.
And why make fun of salmon
or go sidling up to saigas and shout “boo”?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It isn’t wise to tease a weasel
or worse, alarm a lemur.
And why disturb the bustard
or the panda bears that ponder their bamboo?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It takes no nous to scare a mouse,
and less to mock a quokka.
Why fleer a deer, or quell a quail
or goad gorilla gorilla?

Why cock a snook at cockatoos
or stoop to taunt a turtle,
and why poo-poo the poor pudu
or cracking pearlymussel?

Why play a joke on antelope,
or worse, annoy anoa,
why come the rotter with an otter
(the coqui, or the creeper, or kagu)?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It isn’t kind to sting the tamarin
or worse, harangue orangutans.
And why be cruel to huemul
or go discommoding dragons on Komodo?

That’s a no, no, too.

Haven’t you got better things to do?




________________




Idle Hands


It isn’t smart to startle aardvark
or worse, upset an avocet.
And why make fun of salmon
or go sliding up to saigas and shout “boo”?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn’t wise to tease a weasel
or worse, alarm a llama.
And why disturb the bustard
or the panda bears that ponder their bamboo?

Haven’t you got better things to do?

It isn’t shrewd to scare the shou
or worse, harangue orangutans.
And why attempt to quell the quail
or discommode the dragons of Komodo?

That’s a no, no.
It simply isn’t kind,
and so,
with that in mind:

do not mock a quokka, fleer a deer,
or goad gorilla gorilla,
don’t cock a snook at cockatoos,
or diss the pointy dibbler,

and do not laugh at the giraffe,
or stoop to taunt a turtle,
and don’t poo-poo the poor pudu
or cracking pearlymussel.

You really should have better things to do?



.

A very witty poem! I like the second revision! I need to know what you mean by pudu, snook, harangue, those types of words.

[NotQuiteSure]

.
Hi mac,
thanks for returning.

And why make fun of salmon
How would you do that?
You’re just asking for a terrible joke mac, unfortunately/luckily I can’t think of one right now.
... Buy them all bicycles?

what about salmon/mouse?
Not keen on salmon mousse (apologies), as to the species: according to the list I was working from
there are either five or twenty ‘types’ of salmon under threat, and twenty species of mice. And since you didn’t ask, two species of lark (See also lemurs, cockatoos, antelope etc. etc.)

Anyway shouldn't the respect be for all species?
Of course, but that’s either a very short or a very, very long poem


Hi poet,

I need to know what you mean by pudu, snook, harangue, those types of words.
I’ll give you ‘cock a snook’ - it means to treat with disrespect (there’s also a quite well known gesture that the phrase describes - all the others are in any good dictionary (except, possibly, huemul )

Regards both,
Not


.

[Firebird]

Hi Not,

Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back. Didn’t have a great reaction to the vaccine, but better now. Sections of this remind me a little of Blake’s ‘Auguries of Innocence‘. I think that’s what drew me to it.

I find all the those verse that start with ‘why’ too samey for me. Their repetitious structure add little for me. I like it when the verses start with: ‘It isn’t smart/wise and It take nouse’. These verse starters are much more inventive and engaging than ‘why’. I think the third line is fine starting with ‘why’ - just not the start of the verse. I think you need to work harder here.

Also, if this were mine, I’d cut the refrain: ‘ Haven’t you got better things to do?’ all the way through, and just have it at the end. It would have much more impact that way.

Hope this helps.

Cheers,

Tristan

.
v2
Idle Hands


It isn’t smart to startle a lark
or worse, upset the murrelet.
And why make fun of salmon
or go sidling up to saigas and shout “boo”?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It isn’t wise to tease a weasel
or worse, alarm a lemur.
And why disturb the bustard
or the panda bears that ponder their bamboo?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It takes no nous to scare a mouse,
and less to mock a quokka.
Why fleer a deer, or quell a quail
or goad gorilla gorilla?

Why cock a snook at cockatoos
or stoop to taunt a turtle,
and why poo-poo the poor pudu
or cracking pearlymussel?

Why play a joke on antelope,
or worse, annoy anoa,
why come the rotter with an otter
(the coqui, or the creeper, or kagu)?

Haven’t you got better things to do?


It isn’t kind to sting the tamarin
or worse, harangue orangutans.
And why be cruel to huemul
or go discommoding dragons on Komodo?

That’s a no, no, too.

Haven’t you got better things to do?

.

[NotQuiteSure]

.
Hi Tristan,
glad to hear you've improved. (I had very minor side effects to my jab, but oddly, the returned exactly one week after the injection. Didn't last long, an early night was the answer each time).

I think you need to work harder here

Oh, do I? Righty ho. The smart/wise format was limited by available one syllable adjectives, but I've 'worked harder' at this and cut out the 'why' verses.. I'm having a hard time dropping the refrain though, I can't seem to make the rhythm work without it (but this could just be my overfamiliarity with it). If you can read this version without needing it I'll definitely revisit.

Thanks for the feedback.

Regards, Not

.

[Amadis]

Such good wordplay.

I see meaning in it, the kind of poem to read to child at bedtime.

I'm sure a child would derive meaning from it.
Vocabulary building and tolerance.

Cheers Not.

[NotQuiteSure]

Hi Amadis,
thanks for the reading.

Vocabulary building and tolerance.

I'll settle for that

Regards, Not


PS Switched verse 3 to the beginning.