A Blessing for Hands
Hands born to swivel on the wrist; to lift
each item needing lifting, big or small;
to bend or straighten, push or pull; to shift
a weight or cargo, throw a stick or ball;
hands made to catch; to play along the rift,
to find a seam; to feel how overall,
a thing is rough or smooth; to set adrift;
to rescue; hands that helped a child to crawl;
that held a tree or table; gave a gift;
that soothed a tear, a baby’s caterwaul;
that caught, combined, caressed; that made short shrift
of mealtime; that refused to break or maul;
be blessed. Be strong. Be delicate. Be swift.
A Blessing for Hands
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CalebPerry
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3077
- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
This is a wonderful poem, John. It's just perfect. The language is great, the rhyme is great, the ending is great. You've outdone yourself.
I'd give you a longer analysis, but I don't have the time right now. I'll return to it later. However, I don't see anything that needs fixing, so further comments may not be necessary.
I'd give you a longer analysis, but I don't have the time right now. I'll return to it later. However, I don't see anything that needs fixing, so further comments may not be necessary.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
Nicely explored John. Did you consider a sonnet? I found myself agreeing with your blessings and enjoying the journey. Let us be grateful for these gifts! So adept and kind. My only niggle, and this is probably me, I default to swift legs and quick hands.
Bw
Phil
Bw
Phil
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CalebPerry
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3077
- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
Phil, I don't see where legs are mentioned in the poem.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
Hi Caleb, hi Phil,
Caleb: thank you for the good word! i am glad this poem struck a chord with you, it is among my favorites. I think it does its job without a lot of waste or amputation. It tells a tale.
Phil: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I didn't consider a sonnet, in fact, though I can see how the thought arose - it just ended up being this length organically, as the rhymes played out and came to a conclusion. I also agree, swift is unusual for hands, where quick is more natural. But I feel OK with swift here, independently of the rhyme. It fits the elevated language of the whole, i think. It has a certain inevitability.
Cheers,
John
Caleb: thank you for the good word! i am glad this poem struck a chord with you, it is among my favorites. I think it does its job without a lot of waste or amputation. It tells a tale.
Phil: I'm glad you enjoyed it! I didn't consider a sonnet, in fact, though I can see how the thought arose - it just ended up being this length organically, as the rhymes played out and came to a conclusion. I also agree, swift is unusual for hands, where quick is more natural. But I feel OK with swift here, independently of the rhyme. It fits the elevated language of the whole, i think. It has a certain inevitability.
Cheers,
John
Was it Geoffrey Hill who defined poetry as the right words in the right order? The saying has his flatness. 
Ah, it's Coleridge: "Poetry is composed of "the best words in the best order," wrote Samuel Coleridge in 1827."
Cheers,
John
Ah, it's Coleridge: "Poetry is composed of "the best words in the best order," wrote Samuel Coleridge in 1827."
Cheers,
John