Better Grass

[jisbell00]

Better Grass


The sheep are in the meadow at attention.

Beneath a low cloud, rain comes glistening
from Heaven onto hedge and sheep and grass
like some slow punishment. The sheep do not
appear to notice or to care. A clump
of rain-wet sheep – an archipelago
of those who’ve wandered off to where the grass
has spoken to them – this is pretty much
how sheep appear to live. And yet, a lamb
bolts leggily across the grass, as if
it danced on flowers and the sun were out,
and life were worth the living. Could it be
that we might see the sheep stir into life,

like this young lamb – that in the rain-swept field
there might be celebration? I do not
hold out much hope. And so, the heart constricts,
to see that lamb’s tomorrow – all the days
it will not frisk or frolic, all the hours
in which the rain will win and with its fellows
it will graze on and endure. And when I think
of my time upside-down on the brown couch
translating Greek, of days when I was young,
I feel that rain upon my shoulders – all
the weight of things – and I am moved to bow
my head to graze, my eyes to better grass.

[Macavity]

Such an unassuming, gentle read John. Beguiling (except for the Greek translation, but to write what you live is natural).

Enjoyed

Phil

[jisbell00]

Thank you, Phil, I'm glad you enjoyed it. The Greek is a true story, so it went in there. Youth and age.

Cheers,
John

[Macavity]

Never doubted it John. I'm just more 'familiar' with sheep

[jisbell00]

Thanks Phil! Yup, I was eleven or so, upside down on the brown sofa in Mr. MacDonald's house translating Ancient Greek. He would give each of us two boys a biscuit and a glass of orange squash. My fave teacher of the time.

Cheers,
John

[Leaf]

Greetings, John,

Ooh, sheep, very pleasant. We remember this poem, for the wet woollies and also for the image of the young JI upside-down, excellent. You have what we term a lone line to begin the poem, or is it an epigraph here? The opening description of the sheep in the rain is splendid, familiar from our years in Winchcombe and surrounds. And the bolting lamb is familiar too (^v^)

We like the enjambment into S2/3 and the alliteration with 'frisk or frolic', hooray. We wonder whether sheep even endure rain, having a different relationship with it than do humans. The brown couch is a highlight, though, and it's fun to contemplate JI qua sheep naturally (^v^)

Cheerie,
F & (^v^)

[jisbell00]

Greetings, Fliss and Coo,

Woo-hoo, sheep! Yes, wet woolies and a young upside-down narrator, it’s quite picturesque.
A lone line seems a fine description of that singleton line I open with – your first hunch was correct, it’s an opening line, not an epigraph. Glad the opening sheep and lamb struck a chord!
Enjambment and alliteration – I am deploying items from my toolkit! To good effect, I hope. I suspect you are quite right, that sheep feel differently about rain than we do, in part perhaps since it’s hard for them to get out from under it. Ever. I’m also glad you enjoyed the brown couch with its upside-down denizen.

Cheerie,
John

[CalebPerry]

I also find this a very moving poem, a very nice to read. I have a sense, however, that it needs a little tightening and focussing to make it perfect. It seems to wander a bit.

This phrase -- "bolts leggily across the grass" -- immediately put an image in my mind of a sheep with sexy legs, specifically, Betty Boop's legs.

I like the ending.

[jisbell00]

Hi Caleb,

I'm pleased to hear you found this moving! Yes, it does wander a bit, but I'm OK with that at present.

Betty Boop! It used to say "goes gamboling," but someone on another site persuaded me some years ago that that was a cliche, so i went with this. Lambs are all legs, that's what i was going for.

Cheers,
John

[Leaf]

Greetings, Fliss and Coo,

Woo-hoo, sheep! Yes, wet woolies and a young upside-down narrator, it’s quite picturesque.
A lone line seems a fine description of that singleton line I open with – your first hunch was correct, it’s an opening line, not an epigraph. Glad the opening sheep and lamb struck a chord!
Enjambment and alliteration – I am deploying items from my toolkit! To good effect, I hope. I suspect you are quite right, that sheep feel differently about rain than we do, in part perhaps since it’s hard for them to get out from under it. Ever. I’m also glad you enjoyed the brown couch with its upside-down denizen.

Cheerie,
John

Greetings, John,

Sheep are splendid, we think. It is indeed a picturesque poem (^v^)

So, an opening line there. Coo wonders why FT thought it was an epigraph; FT explains that, not unusually, she was tired at the time of typing. Coo understands (*v*)

Hooray for items from the toolkit, which are indeed used to good effect. Yes, sheep are not familiar with umbrellas, as far as we're aware, or anoraks, for example. We have seen them sheltering under trees, but where no options are available it's natural to continue as one can (*v*)

Cheerie,
F & (^v^)

[jisbell00]

Greetings, F & C,

I think you have the makings of an ovine philosophy here! As you say, they are in absolute want of anoraks and umbrellas, and the occasional tree cannot be relied on. So, rain it is!

Cheerie,
John

[ton321]

Hi John

Nice piece about the dwindling of time, I liked the phrase bolts leggily, and the general phase of the message- nicely done,

T

[jisbell00]

Hi Ton,

Thank you for liking this piece, and for your nice words about "bolts leggily" - I'll keep the phrase then!

Cheers,
John

[Leaf]

Greetings, F & C,

I think you have the makings of an ovine philosophy here! As you say, they are in absolute want of anoraks and umbrellas, and the occasional tree cannot be relied on. So, rain it is!

Cheerie,
John

(^v^)