Dream-home.

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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ton321
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Wed Sep 27, 2023 3:23 am

It’s not the most welcoming abode, I admit;
you can hear the drunks walk past, as they hawk and spit

but when I close my eyes and dream
of a better life, this place became my go-between-
who cares what others think of it!
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
jisbell00
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Wed Sep 27, 2023 9:18 am

Hi Tony,

I especially like the rhymes, and also line two.

Cheers,
John
ton321
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Sun Oct 01, 2023 9:33 pm

Thanks John

Rhyming isn't my thing really glad you liked it

Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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