To the woman I didn’t help

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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ton321
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Sun Dec 10, 2023 3:03 am

z
Last edited by ton321 on Sat Nov 30, 2024 3:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
Macavity
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Sun Dec 10, 2023 4:32 am

Wasn't sure about the last line because the initial image is clear and impacts, but then quite like the irony and the truth/resonance of that concluding line. Perhaps referencing motivation for poetry writing, a catharsis for regret, was an overload. Not sure. Anyway enjoyed.
ton321
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Sun Dec 10, 2023 5:05 am

Thanks Mac but you're a sophisticated poetry reader.
T
Last edited by ton321 on Sun Dec 10, 2023 5:19 am, edited 3 times in total.
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
jisbell00
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Sun Dec 10, 2023 5:09 am

That's a nice title, and the poem works for me.

I would write passed and you who were, myself!

Cheers,
John
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Sun Dec 10, 2023 8:14 am

Alba is open for submissions:

https://www.ravennapress.com/alba/submit.html
ton321
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Sat Dec 16, 2023 3:11 am

Thanks Mac
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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