W

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Post Reply
ton321
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 797
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2014 12:54 am

Sun Jan 07, 2024 1:19 am

M
Last edited by ton321 on Thu Mar 28, 2024 2:11 am, edited 2 times in total.
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
Top
jisbell00
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5623
Joined: Sat May 21, 2022 4:53 am

Sun Jan 07, 2024 3:00 am

Hi Tony,

Nice title, though I'd leave out the once.

Nice poem too, it does its job.

Cheers,
John
Top
David
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 13973
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin

Wed Jan 10, 2024 6:00 pm

Hi Tony,

It must be my electronic ignorance, but I'm not sure what the 32 and the 64 are.

Very nice last line.

Should be "no one knew"?

Cheers

David
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Post-a-Poem (Beginners)”