More limericks

[ton321]

There was on old man from Crewe
Who went out and bought a canoe.
It didn’t fit in the garage
and nearly ended his marriage.
Such a silly old man from Crewe.



There was an old man from Leeds
who collected glittery beads.
His house was a mess.
He was full of undress
and his mind was full of misdeeds.

[NotQuiteSure]

Hi Tony,
apologies. I didn't realise they were contagious.

I see you've gone old school with the first one, pulled the old Lear-ish trick of re-using line one's end word in line five.

(1) Liked the set-up, but would have liked a bit more about how it nearly ended the marriage. So many possibilities!
Also, the rhythm in lines three and four is a bit bumpy.
Wouldn't fit in the garage
near ended his marriage
...

(2) Wondered where you were going with 'beads'
Line two is missing a beat, I think.
I don't think lines three and four are that strong, just a thought
he'd polish them up
and then he would pop
them ...

Apologies again,
Not.

.

[ton321]

Thanks Not

I just enjoyed writing a limerick or two without any major repercussions on my literary career
The last limericks I looked at were by Eddie Lear about 45 years ago withthose black and white line drawing illustrations. Thanks for the comments. TBH I didn't expect a serious crit. but many thanks

Tony