Lighthouse

[camus]

I should like to abandon myself
upon a craggy rock, turn down
the noise, take stock.

Scan harsh seas, at breakfast, lunch
and tea, adjust my Sou’wester, yellow
in its circumstance, as yellow as can be.

I’d take quite seriously the lone man’s
approach to being. Perhaps keep a dog
to polish off corned beef hash, a parrot

to laugh with, or at. Perhaps I’d go mad
with the responsibility of mezzanine flooring,
gearless pedestal turnings and of photo electric

cells sensing the daylight arriving, perhaps?
I’d leave just once a year, to collect fuel
from gnarled-fingered fishermen, wise to

the capacity of break tanks and the like.
More to the point I’d maybe save some lives,
whilst reading endlessly.

[Macavity]

Enjoyed. Reason for keeping a dog was my fav bit.

[ton321]

Also enjoyed. Bringing a parrot along to you ivory tower would be a good move. At least it would talk back unlike Wilson from Castaway.

[camus]

Thanks guys.

[NotQuiteSure]

Hi Kris,
enjoyed (especially S4)
The odd niggle ...
'take stock' / 'take quite seriously' (do you need to take both?)

'yellow' felt just a tad predictable, might it not be 'sunflower' or something?

'daylight arriving' (it's the fourth -ing in a row, and felt overdone.)
sensing the daylight's arrival, perhaps?
sensing the daylight arrive, perhaps?

And the ending, 'endlessly' felt anticlimactic? Perhaps some repetition?
save some lives / and read, and read, and read.
?

Regards, Not

.

[camus]

Hey Not,

Some good suggestions there, especially regarding the repetition.

I'll have a ponder,

Cheers
Kris