Poetry Forum

A remedy of sorts.
Numb the brain of all thoughts.
Barring footy and women,
possible in the beginning.
But as i proceed
with the juice of eves weed
thought is too much
multiply with the dutch.
a times table of speech
slowly being leeched.
drained with every sip
abilities soon clipped.
Reductions occur
vocabulary slurred,
lust strongly stirred
beer goggles improve the absurd.
all too easily fooled
into thinking i'm cool,
and that i can dance
am i drunk perchance?

Are you describing the effects of 'zoider' or scrumpy?

How about 'ease the brain from all thought' - 'numb the brain' is a bit over used. Just a thought.

Take it easy tonight - think of the liver!

Barrie

any zoider will do. On the generic stuff at the mo. If you look closely liver shares the same letters as evil and i saw a t shirt somewhere saying it must be punished. Just doing my bit like. Thanks for the advice though. Didn't say much about the rest of it though.

Read this three times - and it got better with each reading - I like it.

It has a nice rhythm and reads easily, and works in that it feels 'familiar', as the reader, it was easy to 'know' the experience.

I find the line 'all too easily fooled' flows more smoothly if you drop the word 'all'. Also - being pedantic now - I'm a bit confused that some full stops are followed by a capital letter and others aren't. But I am no expert on the 'rules' of poetry - so cast this comment aside if you wish.

I enjoyed the 'slipping into oblivion' experience without the inevitable hangover - thank-you.