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woman work the water

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:55 pm
by private_grave
When winter petal walks
some say "sweet spring!"
Under gentle rain and gorgeous misty moon
a girl is aching like a luscious bruise, drained of all beauty.

When the evening is dry and raw,
she shakes, then falls, a sad women
with a white wet bouquet of skin,
parting like delicate lace.

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 6:34 pm
by cameron
Hi pg

Welcome aboard.

This is rather fine and should really be posted in "experienced". It reads like a translation of Japanese/Chinese poetry: sparse, zen-like, haunting.

Nice one.

Look forward to seeing more of your stuff.

Cheers
Cam

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 7:32 pm
by Minstrel
Agreed

A day in the life/ death of a petal. Very light.

Minstrel

Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 8:52 pm
by mick
Yes, thanks for this PG.
Nice one.
Mick

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 11:06 am
by benjywenjy
really haunting and beautifull

'luscious bruise' - what an amazing image

loved it lots :)

benjy

Posted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 8:29 am
by anniecat
Hi, absolutly beautiful, short yet so full, very sad but also true . AC