All good things end.

[vesuvius]

Our final meal at sunset, cool,
but warmed by lambent, hanging lamps.
The Hotel Prinz, the balcony
- glorious food, and my best friends.
Devouring views of Prague that night,
we talked about our destiny.

A week before in Budapest,
we climbed the grand Basilica,
where Sam and Heather posed for me
- over views of red slate roofs.
I’d print and frame the money shot,
for them to keep eternally.

From there, night trains to Krakow, slept
in cabins, folding seats to beds.
The place appeared in morning light
- glowing yellow, red and blue.
With 3 days here and 2 to go,
in Prague we'd spend the final nights.

We’d started in Ljubljana town;
a small, but cultured capital,
unsure of where the route would roll.
- Prague, Vienna, Krakow, Rome.
Ljubljana was the thrilling birth
of our exciting travel goal.

From Prague I flew to Birmingham,
then home too fast and crashed to work.
Could not believe I’d been away.
- Maps of home an abstract art
at first, but then familiar:
The two tone town, of brown and grey.

Australia alone, I wished
my travel friends had joined me there,
but since last year; our Europe tour,
- Heather and Sam agreed to split.
Apparently “all good things end”.
The destiny we’d planned had changed.

Their photo, framed, remains unsent,
gathering dust, beneath my bed.

[Macavity]

Downbeat, but the title didn't promise more, though personally I'd like to engage more with the 'pleasures' of the trip.

'glorious food' - I'd like some detail here, taste/picture

'red slate roofs' - I like that, gives some 'foreign' flavour, context

'cultured capital' - again I'd like to know in what way

'Maps of home an abstract art' - like that, conveys to me estrangement


cheers

mac

[CRM]

Hi Vesuvius. Now i am not in any way qualified to offer in depth crit but what i will say is i enjoyed your poem. A tale of a journey that took us round europe. Nice. What i will say is can you use metaphors or similies to make the trip come 'alive' more. We want to taste the cooking, walk the cobbled streets and hear the foreign sounds with you.

Just a thought.

Thanks for the read.

C

[vesuvius]

Metaphors?

[kozmikdave]

Gidday

The way you've described it is like a whirlwind - 10 countries in five days - tour. Like it!

Cheers
Dave