Bubba
(Billy Bob Wilson)
Baby, let me drive your car.
Let me drive you, honey.
It's kinda funny when you come so far
in such a short time: hey, it ain't
no crime, basking in the sunlight
in my Hong Kong tailored suit
and my twenty-seven dollar necktie,
Thai silk. Pass the milk, honeybubbles,
and finish up your coffee.
Before this day is done, you and me,
we gonna have ourselves some fun,
I like you, girl, but I LOVE your machine,
tuned-up, growling, smooth and clean,
I'm holding steady, rough and ready,
but I guess I can be mean.
Yes ma'am, wham bam.
If I act like a prisoner on reprieve
it's because I got compassionate leave
(my granny died for the second time)
and very soon I gotta go back
to fuckin Iraq, shoot down
some more of them ragheads
or else get blown to shit.
There ain't no sense in it.
They say there are 35 million
of these goddam people
and we sure as fuck can't shoot them all.
Survive, yo man, just stay alive!
Blow them all to fuckin hell.
Might as well. Drop bombs
from the air. I don't care.
Hay-rabs suck, so what the fuck!
Hey, babe, you wanna get married
when I get home again?
Just don't sell that car.
You and me can drive to Vegas
or live in sin
at the Holiday Inn.
Yoon-EYE-ted States of Uh- MERRY-kuh!!
Man, you just gotta love it.
On the Shores of Amerikay (2)
-
twoleftfeet
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 6761
- Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
- Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up
Brendan,
I'm not sure about ragheads - I could be wrong but I thought this
was British slangs?
I think that some Americans might find this distasteful.
It would make a good lyric, though - you already have two musical
references in there - "Drive my Car" and "Wham bam thank you, maam"!
Geoff
I'm not sure about ragheads - I could be wrong but I thought this
was British slangs?
I think that some Americans might find this distasteful.
It would make a good lyric, though - you already have two musical
references in there - "Drive my Car" and "Wham bam thank you, maam"!
Geoff
"Distasteful"? Ah, you lovely British! What you mean to convey is that some of the language and opinions in the poem could be construed as downright offensive!! At the same time I am not making up this language. I am just trundling out ideas and opinions more or less verbatim based on late-night discussions (not in the absence of alcohol) when I was last in the States during June of 2005. As far as 'raghead' goes I believe it is fairly common among US troops and shows up in soldiers' blogs; I think 'towel-head' is the Brit equivalent. As far as the car and the Holiday Inn and the Hong Kong suit and the necktie and the twice-dead granny these are all products of imagination -- but the comments about the war are not.
I also think it is perfectly legit to raise questions about where people are coming from in their public statements ... and a poem IS a public statement ... not because freedom of expression should be suppressed or limited (perish the thought!!) but because there always needs to be a dialogue in which free people --and I believe we are still pretty free, in Western Europe at least -- should never shrink from explaining their points of view and the reasons behind them. Many of us, I believe, have been to uni or are still struggling through it. What I am saying is that it's not just a four-year period of questioning everything, soon to be replaced by adjustments to the Real World (whatever that's supposed to be) but that it should go on pretty much forever until we finally drop off the perch.
"I say, this parrot is dead!!" -- "No, it's not. It's asleep."
This reply is way over the top -- I know! -- and all for what was no more than a very light tap on the wrist. It's got nothing to do with dear old Geoff, but I think it has a lot to do with the feeling of helplessness that comes over me every time I pick up the morning newspaper or watch the television news. The world wasn't like this just ten years ago. How the hell did we get into this mess? More to the point, how do we get out of it? Can we? OK, enough. Sorry.
Bottom line, this is what the soldiers themselves were saying.
All the best,
Bren
I also think it is perfectly legit to raise questions about where people are coming from in their public statements ... and a poem IS a public statement ... not because freedom of expression should be suppressed or limited (perish the thought!!) but because there always needs to be a dialogue in which free people --and I believe we are still pretty free, in Western Europe at least -- should never shrink from explaining their points of view and the reasons behind them. Many of us, I believe, have been to uni or are still struggling through it. What I am saying is that it's not just a four-year period of questioning everything, soon to be replaced by adjustments to the Real World (whatever that's supposed to be) but that it should go on pretty much forever until we finally drop off the perch.
"I say, this parrot is dead!!" -- "No, it's not. It's asleep."
This reply is way over the top -- I know! -- and all for what was no more than a very light tap on the wrist. It's got nothing to do with dear old Geoff, but I think it has a lot to do with the feeling of helplessness that comes over me every time I pick up the morning newspaper or watch the television news. The world wasn't like this just ten years ago. How the hell did we get into this mess? More to the point, how do we get out of it? Can we? OK, enough. Sorry.
Bottom line, this is what the soldiers themselves were saying.
All the best,
Bren
-
oranggunung
- Preponderant Poster
- Posts: 1393
- Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
- Location: Dublin, Ireland
Bren
I can feel a musical rhythm to this poem as I read it. Is there any possibility you might consider it a lyric?
I think the style and vocab is spot on. I agree the language may cause offence to some, but that´s life. Some people´s hairstyles cause offence, after all.
og
I can feel a musical rhythm to this poem as I read it. Is there any possibility you might consider it a lyric?
I think the style and vocab is spot on. I agree the language may cause offence to some, but that´s life. Some people´s hairstyles cause offence, after all.
og
-
Gypsy Cake
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2007 4:17 pm
- Location: Essex, UK
- Contact:
I love this poem. Long but the structure makes it so easy to read. What seems to me as spontaneous rhyming fits in really well with the impatience of the solider.
I think there's too much swearing. In my opinion, swearing should be kept to a minimum in poetry. But this isn't the reason I dislike it here: It doesn't add anything--I realise the context provokes use of swearing--but I genuinely think that YOU could have come up with an alternative version.
I stress 'you' because you seem to have a much better grasp of language and style than many poets on here.
I have to say you have a liberated style that I like a lot.
I think there's too much swearing. In my opinion, swearing should be kept to a minimum in poetry. But this isn't the reason I dislike it here: It doesn't add anything--I realise the context provokes use of swearing--but I genuinely think that YOU could have come up with an alternative version.
I stress 'you' because you seem to have a much better grasp of language and style than many poets on here.
I have to say you have a liberated style that I like a lot.
It wouldn't be too hard to imagine a song, og. Geoff makes the same comment. Problem is, who would want to sing it?
Gypsy Cake writes:
Gypsy Cake writes:
Fair comment. I was too literal with the reported speech and will exercise a bit of judgement the next time!I think there's too much swearing. In my opinion, swearing should be kept to a minimum in poetry. But this isn't the reason I dislike it here: It doesn't add anything--
-
twoleftfeet
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 6761
- Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
- Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up
Brendan,
As I see it:
1) You are stereotyping great swathes of the American people.
If you had called this ALFIE MOON and written it in Cockney I would
have been offended by the sweeping generalization that was being made.
(Swearing, on the other hand ,GC, is appropriate 'cos it's what
people do when expressing strong opinions )
2) You are leaving the question of your own opinion entirely unspoken
(though, of course, that is perfectly legitimate)
I think this would be better if you did it as a conversation
(ie. multiple voices, varations of opinion and tone)
Geoff
As I see it:
1) You are stereotyping great swathes of the American people.
If you had called this ALFIE MOON and written it in Cockney I would
have been offended by the sweeping generalization that was being made.
(Swearing, on the other hand ,GC, is appropriate 'cos it's what
people do when expressing strong opinions )
2) You are leaving the question of your own opinion entirely unspoken
(though, of course, that is perfectly legitimate)
I think this would be better if you did it as a conversation
(ie. multiple voices, varations of opinion and tone)
Geoff
-
juliadebeauvoir
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 2083
- Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:42 am
- Location: East of Eden
I think that some Americans might find this distasteful.
Well...uh...yeah.
When I read through the poem, my initial reaction was that I didn't find it so offensive as cartoonish. It was an in-your-face stereotype-- almost no one acts this way here and if they do they are ostracized. Whether you are for the war or against it, most American's (despite our neighbor's view of us on a world scale because of the damn media) would not be that crude and vulgar about Muslims. We might hate terrorism and despise terrorists but the only time I have heard people of the Muslim faith addressed as 'ragheads' was in the media. Not from anyone I know.
The media (here and over there) has a way of making Americans look like a bunch of Neanderthals (insert monkey noises here) which is an incredible distortion of the truth. Most Americans hate war, love their families, devote their energies to charity and volunteer work, and have a strong work ethic.
This poem wasn't effective for me because the tone/speech/mannerisms of an American GI wasn't accurate. It almost was like watching a B movie set in the 1940's. I know some of our boys personally--much more dignified and committed to their country than what this portrays.
Ded, I usually love your historical stuff about Ireland. I really think you have a handle on that. I think I'd flounder too if I wanted to accurately tackle a dialogue set in Liverpool or with a Cockney accent. The message would struggle to come through. I will admit that the lyrics are musical but phrases like: I like you, girl, but I LOVE your machine,
can be over used and trite.
On a more serious note, it seems (and I could stand corrected on this) that you have a gripe against the United States. I have seen it come out in your other work. Am I wrong?
Cheers,
Kimberly
Well...uh...yeah.
When I read through the poem, my initial reaction was that I didn't find it so offensive as cartoonish. It was an in-your-face stereotype-- almost no one acts this way here and if they do they are ostracized. Whether you are for the war or against it, most American's (despite our neighbor's view of us on a world scale because of the damn media) would not be that crude and vulgar about Muslims. We might hate terrorism and despise terrorists but the only time I have heard people of the Muslim faith addressed as 'ragheads' was in the media. Not from anyone I know.
The media (here and over there) has a way of making Americans look like a bunch of Neanderthals (insert monkey noises here) which is an incredible distortion of the truth. Most Americans hate war, love their families, devote their energies to charity and volunteer work, and have a strong work ethic.
This poem wasn't effective for me because the tone/speech/mannerisms of an American GI wasn't accurate. It almost was like watching a B movie set in the 1940's. I know some of our boys personally--much more dignified and committed to their country than what this portrays.
Ded, I usually love your historical stuff about Ireland. I really think you have a handle on that. I think I'd flounder too if I wanted to accurately tackle a dialogue set in Liverpool or with a Cockney accent. The message would struggle to come through. I will admit that the lyrics are musical but phrases like: I like you, girl, but I LOVE your machine,
can be over used and trite.
BTW, the Holiday Inn is now a family fun hotel. Adults stay and kids stay free /eat free! No sinning there...or live in sin
at the Holiday Inn
On a more serious note, it seems (and I could stand corrected on this) that you have a gripe against the United States. I have seen it come out in your other work. Am I wrong?
Cheers,
Kimberly
Hi Kim,
Your comment deserves a serious answer. I have been busy on the Delhi poem (why dont you just write a book?) and some other things, so please give me a few days. I lived in the States for 7-8 years so this is not a simple case of living overseas and saying bad things about the USA. I still have very tight personal connections in the States but it is kinda hard to ignore the elephant in the living room, which is more or less what the US government has become for the rest of the world, not to mention its own harried and deluded citizens. Well, whatever I sit down and write to you, it will not be knee-jerk anti-Yankee propaganda. Trust me.
You were totally right about the poem. It is a cartoon. Bubba is not only a redneck, he is a super-Redneck, an UEBER REDNECK!! There was scorn and contempt (which everyone who commented picked up on) but there was a faint underlying strain of compassion and pity. Plus I wrote it in about twenty minutes ....
OK, take care. I will get back to you. I think you are doing a very responsible (if rather thankless) job as Moderator on the Beginners Forum.
So, thanks. Good for you, girl!!
Anois,
Bren
Your comment deserves a serious answer. I have been busy on the Delhi poem (why dont you just write a book?) and some other things, so please give me a few days. I lived in the States for 7-8 years so this is not a simple case of living overseas and saying bad things about the USA. I still have very tight personal connections in the States but it is kinda hard to ignore the elephant in the living room, which is more or less what the US government has become for the rest of the world, not to mention its own harried and deluded citizens. Well, whatever I sit down and write to you, it will not be knee-jerk anti-Yankee propaganda. Trust me.
You were totally right about the poem. It is a cartoon. Bubba is not only a redneck, he is a super-Redneck, an UEBER REDNECK!! There was scorn and contempt (which everyone who commented picked up on) but there was a faint underlying strain of compassion and pity. Plus I wrote it in about twenty minutes ....
OK, take care. I will get back to you. I think you are doing a very responsible (if rather thankless) job as Moderator on the Beginners Forum.
So, thanks. Good for you, girl!!
Anois,
Bren
Judging by the reaction, I reckon you might have flown a bit too close to the sun with this one.
As usual, you provide us with a fluent and thought provoking read. I really like the way Bubba fizzes and twitches with nervous energy. Here's a bloke who is in a rush to do it all before he's sent back to hell and damnation.
Unlike others, I don't see Bubba as unpalatable and unreal. To me, he is a small town boy who has seen and done too much. He is close to losing his mind and probably needs therapy, rather than be ostracized or denigrated by armchair pundits like ourselves.
[quote]The world wasn't like this ten years ago[quote]
Wasn't it? Your Irish history might be OK but you need to brush up on what's been happening in the rest of the world down the centuries!
The ability of political elites to wage war and manipulate public opinion may be more 'sophisticated' these days but terrorism, wherever it comes from, isn't a recent phenomenon. People hacking away at eachother and being blown to pieces is nothing new. Empires are rapacious and underpinned by force. War is barbarous and unedifying. Mankind is a repeat offender.
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.
Have a nice day.
As usual, you provide us with a fluent and thought provoking read. I really like the way Bubba fizzes and twitches with nervous energy. Here's a bloke who is in a rush to do it all before he's sent back to hell and damnation.
Unlike others, I don't see Bubba as unpalatable and unreal. To me, he is a small town boy who has seen and done too much. He is close to losing his mind and probably needs therapy, rather than be ostracized or denigrated by armchair pundits like ourselves.
[quote]The world wasn't like this ten years ago[quote]
Wasn't it? Your Irish history might be OK but you need to brush up on what's been happening in the rest of the world down the centuries!
The ability of political elites to wage war and manipulate public opinion may be more 'sophisticated' these days but terrorism, wherever it comes from, isn't a recent phenomenon. People hacking away at eachother and being blown to pieces is nothing new. Empires are rapacious and underpinned by force. War is barbarous and unedifying. Mankind is a repeat offender.
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.
Have a nice day.
"This is going to be a damn masterpiece, when I finish dis..." - Poeterry
-
J.R.Pearson
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2007 1:11 am
Hey Dead: Since i live smack-dab in the heart of hillbilly country i feel compelled(if not overly qualified) to comment on this poem! I thought this whole write was funnnnny.... i do have a couple of crits tho....maybe thoughts on improvement if u really want this to sound low-brow American.
So let me hitch up my Ford belt-buckle and pull the hayseed outta my mouth and show u where da chit hit da fan.
Bubba
(Billy Bob Wilson)
Baby, let me drive your car.
Let me drive you, honey.
It's kinda funny when you come so far
in such a short time: hey, it ain't
no crime, basking in the sunlight
in my Hong Kong tailored suit------no self respecting Bubba wears a Hong Kong suit....never even heard of a Hong Kong suit....try overalls/camo shirt or more pointedly oil stained wife beater
and my twenty-seven dollar necktie,----this is goood!
Thai silk. Pass the milk, honeybubbles,
and finish up your coffee.
Before this day is done, you and me,
we gonna have ourselves some fun,
I like you, girl, but I LOVE your machine,-----jacked up knobby-tired Chevey whould be the best. Gun rack in the back window...I'd rather be huntin' bumper sticker
tuned-up, growling, smooth and clean,
I'm holding steady, rough and ready,
but I guess I can be mean.
Yes ma'am, wham bam.--- i like the way u side stepped the cliche
If I act like a prisoner on reprieve
it's because I got compassionate leave
(my granny died for the second time)----best line in the poem....freakin funnnny
and very soon I gotta go back
to fuckin Iraq, shoot down
some more of them ragheads---hear this constantly here......also camel-jocky
or else get blown to shit.---chit is better
There ain't no sense in it.
They say there are 35 million
of these goddam people
and we sure as fuck can't shoot them all.
Survive, yo man, just stay alive!---hillbllies never everever say yo man....to hip hop...think "what would Willie Nelson say?"
Blow them all to fuckin hell.
Might as well. Drop bombs
from the air. I don't care.
Hay-rabs suck, so what the fuck!
Hey, babe, you wanna get married
when I get home again?
Just don't sell that car.
You and me can drive to Vegas
or live in sin
at the Holiday Inn.
Yoon-EYE-ted States of Uh- MERRY-kuh!!-----this is HI-lar-i-o-us
Man, you just gotta love it.
It's time to introduce U to a new word: Hucklebuck....thats what norms call extreme hillbilles!
Say it with me...Huckle..Buck.
Now take a breath and let it roll off yur lips.....feels good huh!
So let me hitch up my Ford belt-buckle and pull the hayseed outta my mouth and show u where da chit hit da fan.
Bubba
(Billy Bob Wilson)
Baby, let me drive your car.
Let me drive you, honey.
It's kinda funny when you come so far
in such a short time: hey, it ain't
no crime, basking in the sunlight
in my Hong Kong tailored suit------no self respecting Bubba wears a Hong Kong suit....never even heard of a Hong Kong suit....try overalls/camo shirt or more pointedly oil stained wife beater
and my twenty-seven dollar necktie,----this is goood!
Thai silk. Pass the milk, honeybubbles,
and finish up your coffee.
Before this day is done, you and me,
we gonna have ourselves some fun,
I like you, girl, but I LOVE your machine,-----jacked up knobby-tired Chevey whould be the best. Gun rack in the back window...I'd rather be huntin' bumper sticker
tuned-up, growling, smooth and clean,
I'm holding steady, rough and ready,
but I guess I can be mean.
Yes ma'am, wham bam.--- i like the way u side stepped the cliche
If I act like a prisoner on reprieve
it's because I got compassionate leave
(my granny died for the second time)----best line in the poem....freakin funnnny
and very soon I gotta go back
to fuckin Iraq, shoot down
some more of them ragheads---hear this constantly here......also camel-jocky
or else get blown to shit.---chit is better
There ain't no sense in it.
They say there are 35 million
of these goddam people
and we sure as fuck can't shoot them all.
Survive, yo man, just stay alive!---hillbllies never everever say yo man....to hip hop...think "what would Willie Nelson say?"
Blow them all to fuckin hell.
Might as well. Drop bombs
from the air. I don't care.
Hay-rabs suck, so what the fuck!
Hey, babe, you wanna get married
when I get home again?
Just don't sell that car.
You and me can drive to Vegas
or live in sin
at the Holiday Inn.
Yoon-EYE-ted States of Uh- MERRY-kuh!!-----this is HI-lar-i-o-us
Man, you just gotta love it.
It's time to introduce U to a new word: Hucklebuck....thats what norms call extreme hillbilles!
Say it with me...Huckle..Buck.
Now take a breath and let it roll off yur lips.....feels good huh!
Beyond the blind protozoan maestro & his wand--Ed Pavlic
http://rp-author.com/BurningGorgeous/
http://www.afterliterature.org/
http://rp-author.com/BurningGorgeous/
http://www.afterliterature.org/