Poetry Forum

I am not the man I am
I must escape myself
I is not the man I is
I must escape itself

I is uncomfortable in its skin
I would be even less uncomfortable without any skin
I does not like the idea of getting bits of dirt stuck in sticky bare flesh
I should get a skin transplant
I could find itself a donor
I could stitch one together from the fabric of the universe or the mind or the curtains

I is already different from the boy I was
I might take a decade or more but it can and will be done

I is constant
I will persevere
I will stay close to the ground
I will avoid itself for as long as it can
I will hang on for dear sweet life despite its crookedness and disappointments

I can go anywhere when I is other people

Hi there,

Definitely too much repetition of 'I' also found it slightly annoying to read.. but then, that's just my opinion.

aye aye

repetition ruined it for me to (I is not the man I is)? maybe its me but that dosnt make sence to me

I agree regarding the repition of "i" however there is some good imagery.

It reminds me soemwhat of the nbad Bad Brains and their tune "I and I survive", it's got that Rasta feel.

I would side with the majority, but keep going with it. Seems like some of the lines might be stronger if you just dropped the "I"...

I is constant
will persevere
stay close to the ground
avoid itself for as long as it can
hang on for dear sweet life despite its crookedness and disappointments

-c

I (oops) got a strange Golum voice as I was reading this. It doesn't quite make it but is in the character as I remember it. I thought it kind of charming. I don't know if it would work without all the "I"s, but who knows.

I must escape itself
I is constant.

The line 'I must escape itself' really appeals to me, I thinks its a wonderful thought on it own and within the poem. Although I can see that the constant use of 'I' hinders the flow of the poem for the reader, but prehaps this was done on purpose? The line 'I is constant' towards the end of the poem sums up the whole piece for me, but I think its a fab line. Really enjoyed the poem. Ilex