Glass baby

[seer]

The.

[madawc]

the wind helps me give birth

This conjures up an unfortunate image which I'm sure you didn't mean. Think about rephrasing the line or you'll be getting comments like "Leave off the peas", etc.

'diffrent' ?

Strange poem, not sure of its intended meaning. It would sound much better with a 'quieter' third line.

Madawc

[seer]

its a fucking metaphor my goodness,that is the kind of inane comment i am trying to escape- i do hope i am not flaming,fuck,are people in here serious or not tell me now,or has the whole world become infantile,and no i am not going to rephrase it.

[madawc]

its a fucking metaphor my goodness

It's a fucking flatulant metaphor my goodness.

I was just letting you know what it said to me - If you don't like hearing what people think then it's tough. What are you here for - praise and adulation?

[seer]

not that kind of wind,the kind that blows,you know when you go outdoors.

[madawc]

not that kind of wind,the kind that blows,you know when you go outdoors.

- I know exactly what you meant - read what I said

seer wrote:
the wind helps me give birth

This conjures up an unfortunate image which I'm sure you didn't mean.

I said it needed rephrasing: 'the wind' sounds like flatulance, 'a wind' gives it 'fresh' meaning.

Don't be so touchy.

Madawc

[dl04]

Definitely intruiging, but i feel it's too brief and lacks the depth of something really etheral and mystical. Maybe you could expand on this poem more and give more insight into the concept of this, because it's a bit non-sensical atm.

keep working at it

[seer]

its about flatulence