A Proverbial Woman.
Scorned,
she arrived
at my glass house.
Carrying a bag.
Of sticks.
And stones.
© Christopher Earle
A Proverbial Woman.
"Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy." C. Dickens
Liked the image immensely. No nits.
Great write.
Great write.
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Richard WH
- Productive Poster
- Posts: 63
- Joined: Sat Apr 12, 2008 8:15 pm
- Location: just North of Newcastle
Very good.
I think I would prefer it if it were
Scorned
she arrived
at my glasshouse,
carrying a bag
of sticks.
And stones.
But I imagine you've thought of that and dismissed it already. My impression is that it would work better with the And stones being one sentence at the end rather than Of sticks as well.
But thats just being picky and there isnt really any need on something as simple and good as this.
I think I would prefer it if it were
Scorned
she arrived
at my glasshouse,
carrying a bag
of sticks.
And stones.
But I imagine you've thought of that and dismissed it already. My impression is that it would work better with the And stones being one sentence at the end rather than Of sticks as well.
But thats just being picky and there isnt really any need on something as simple and good as this.
The meaning of communication is the response it gets
Thanks for the comments people... this arrived in my head as I drove to work thinking of an ex-wife who if I did not miss so much, I might dislike intensely.
And yeah... not striking for it's originality, just a thought/ramble on how the three 'proverbs' seemed to work well together.
Richard, I have thought of several ways to end this... including your suggestion. But you make a very good case now that I have thought about it and I think I may make that change. Thanks.
Cheers
And yeah... not striking for it's originality, just a thought/ramble on how the three 'proverbs' seemed to work well together.
Richard, I have thought of several ways to end this... including your suggestion. But you make a very good case now that I have thought about it and I think I may make that change. Thanks.
Cheers
"Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy." C. Dickens
Thanx Dave, but I think I beat you to the 'sexist' part. I'll take the bullet for you this time.
"Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some o' them low fellows; never you let yourself down to talk poetry, my boy." C. Dickens
Very neatly done, but one thing spoils it for me - It's only one sentence, not two. You need to lose the full stop.
Carrying a bag.
Of sticks.
And stones. - This describes what 'she' is carrying and is part of a single sentence with 'she' as the subject.
Scorned,
she arrived
at my glass house
carrying a bag.
of sticks.
and stones.
Good one
Barrie
Carrying a bag.
Of sticks.
And stones. - This describes what 'she' is carrying and is part of a single sentence with 'she' as the subject.
Scorned,
she arrived
at my glass house
carrying a bag.
of sticks.
and stones.
Good one
Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......