Fossil - Beginner

[davelord]

Thanks Elphin. I hope changes are allowed in the comp. I can get anywhere from 6 to 9 syllables in the second line. The version in my head now has 7!

Cometition Entry

Fossil

sea-life skeleton
for aeons crushed and transformed
fuels my motor now

First Version

Fossil

sea-life skeleton
aeons crushed and transformed
now runs my motor

[Elphin]

nice one dave - bones and oil.

Check l2 - presuming its a haiku I think you only have 6 syllables buts its maybe different pronunciations.

Maybe change runs to fuels for stronger effect.

elphin

[barrie]

Good idea to use haiku - Allow me to complicate things further (sorry) -

sea-life skeleton
transformed and crushed by aeons
fuels my motor now

Barrie

[davelord]

Baz, Thanks for your suggested improvement - no need to apologise . I think, however, I prefer my aeons.

Your aeons seem to be some kind of extra-terrestrial life that enjoys crushing sea-life?

My aeons took ages to develop so I think I'll stick with them.

Ta anyway and please do keep helping me out.

[David]

Nice one, Dave. Short and sweet.

Cheers

David