Poetry Forum

You cup, we spoon
sunlight through bone,
crazed under the moon.

The title had me fooled. I like the play here - You cup, we spoon indeed.

sunlight through bone - Why not carry the bone china thing on in the next line? Instead of crazed, how about -

glazed under the moon - Just a thought.

Barrie

Oh yes. Short and sweet- very sweet. Like it a lot.

I'd stick with crazed, though - that's what the moon can do. And does it, in china terms, actually mean broken?

Cheers

David

I must say this is very intruiging - the first line had me hooked.The last two blew me off! Terrific write.
Cheers.

Hi sneaker
i still like this poem, hope you find more time to write now the school term is nearly here! I see you get a lot of good reviews, I'm not suprised really, good luck for the competition, and I'll see you in a couple of days,
from Raisin Tree

Love this poem a lot.

Crazed is the right word to use I feel.... you can get glaze that appears cracked or crazed.


Porcelain you can see through - lovely imagery.

Sneaker, thank you. Oddly - for it's so very central - the way I'm reading it has 'bone' very lonely. Since the poem has only three lines its dissonance doesn't feel right... but I'll try rereading it a number of ways in order to have it fit. Zalina, x