Poetry Forum

Come and hear how this world is falling
After all these days of silence.

Quiet.
Today is the day of mourning.
See how i fly deeper
Into the dark of this morning.

Flying for all white birds from now on
Is easier.

The connections between the verses are clever - "silence" / "quiet" - "fly" / "flying". The idea of the world falling with (I presume) snow, and burial, is expressed very well; "from now on" is an excellent penultimate line. I think this poem says quite a lot per word (which is what I like about poetry). Nice one.

n.b. you ought to comment on a couple of other poems before posting your own - good manners.

This is really nicely paced and paints a goergous picture -it reminds me of a book i recently read. the dark is rising by susan cooper

Well done

Forgive my poor manners. I was a little too excited perhaps. I will post a number of comments.

Thank you all very much for reading it, however.

zalina, x

I didn't realise it was snowing (if it is) until the last line, but I love that last line.

Flying for all white birds from now on
Is easier.

That's just beautiful.

If you would like, zalina, you can say something about yourself here:

viewforum.php?f=16

Cheers (and welcome)

David

This is a strange one for me.

I really like it, but I'm not sure why... I'm not sure I totally 'get' it either. I enjoy each stanza and the way they link, but I do feel like i'm missing something... snow? oh... really?

To me, this seemed to be about war. The last line smacked of doves to me... am I the only one?

thank you for your thoughts everybody.