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https://proleartthreat.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=7390
Do you?barrie wrote:Oh God, I feel awful for moving this.
It's 100% crap, no doubt about that. I'm not sure what's cliched about it.What do you expect - constructive criticism? It's 100% cliche and the concept is hardly original.
I feel too awful! Clinical fatigue + Low self-esteem = shit poetry.Write us a poem thoke, for Christ's sake.
oh touche, sir!thoke wrote: I feel too awful! Clinical fatigue + Low self-esteem = shit poetry.
- No, I didn't think it belonged there - Do you?thoke wrote:barrie wrote:
Oh God, I feel awful for moving this.
Do you?
- Oh God, I feel awful, I'm sure I've heard that before.thoke wrote:I'm not sure what's cliched about it.
- if you're using equations then surely, Clinical fatigue - shit poetry = - Low self-esteem. Which means your low self-esteem is no more, and without low self-esteem you can now write good poetry, So, lets try the new equation - Clinical fatigue + good poetry = self esteem. By re-arranging the equation we find that Good poetry = self esteem - clinical fatigue. No more fatigue, Monsieur. The case is solved! - Inspector Clouseau.thoke wrote:Clinical fatigue + Low self-esteem = shit poetry.
No.barrie wrote:- No, I didn't think it belonged there - Do you?thoke wrote:barrie wrote:
Oh God, I feel awful for moving this.
Do you?
In a poem?- Oh God, I feel awful, I'm sure I've heard that before.thoke wrote:I'm not sure what's cliched about it.
But how do I subtract the shit poetry? If a poem is a sequence of words as determined by a particular person at a particular time, then poems can't cease to exist.- if you're using equations then surely, Clinical fatigue - shit poetry = - Low self-esteem.thoke wrote:Clinical fatigue + Low self-esteem = shit poetry.
-Use Clouseau's logic.thoke wrote:But how do I subtract the shit poetry? If a poem is a sequence of words as determined by a particular person at a particular time, then poems can't cease to exist.
Like I said - good luck.barrie wrote: Monsieur. The case is solved! - Inspector Clouseau.
If it were only as easy.
I didn't say they did. I said, "In a poem?" That's a question.barrie wrote:Sorry, I didn't realize cliches suddenly ceased to be cliches when they were used in (as) poems. You learn something every day.
Haha. Sounds like Yoda lamenting a vainglorious diatribe from young Skywalker...thoke wrote: God feel?
Oh, awful.
Haha! Marvellous. Any other permutations?O awful God -
Feel!
Eh? You've lost me.dedalus wrote:I know where this comes from ... if you were not brought up in a religion, either by strict parents or a Church or Chapel environvent, then do not go here. You might be trawling for easy answers. Stick with the poetry ... just the compression of it brings a discipline to the spiritual side that exists in all of us. I don't mean to be cruel, but you are really on your own ... as are we all.
Fair enough so, without a Dickensian background, it don't mean nothing. I thought you were going all holy on me. I have to restrain myself from slapping these people.Eh? You've lost me.
Eh?!dedalus wrote:Fair enough so, without a Dickensian background, it don't mean nothing.
Okay, I understand this sentence. No, I'm still an anti-theist. I feel awful, so I wrote "Oh God, I feel awful" and Barrie didn't like it so I jumbled the words up and forgot to include the 'I'.I thought you were going all holy on me.
Please don't slap me, I'm too weak to defend myself at the moment.I have to restrain myself from slapping these people.
- Forgot the 'I', eh? Losing the ego - sounds like Eastern Mysticism to me - You could change your name - The Maharishi Mahesh Thoki - and make millions from gullible disciples.....Om etc etcthoke wrote:No, I'm still an anti-theist. I feel awful, so I wrote "Oh God, I feel awful" and Barrie didn't like it so I jumbled the words up and forgot to include the 'I'.