Are you work?

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Tramontane
Posts: 14
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 8:38 am
antispam: no
Location: with a mouse in my palm

Sun Feb 22, 2009 9:31 pm

the productivity culture rolls her eggs
over blotting paper minds within the school gates.

For some work is an invisible great cuckoo that whipsers
stalgtite lies;

"Feed me! wriggling gobs of overtime"

The many dumb eyeless fingers gladly unwind
onion tasks thinking there Friday night knickers.

Sleeping minds cruise foggy motorways safe
except for the prison,old age or death exits.

Buzzers screech late like OAP tyres near zebra stripes
then ripples of relief trickle way on oppressed soles
to wait for a no 10.One gushing anger rages away sat
on dead cows in traffic.

What devised this cuckoo? that as it leaves you chokes a
gossamer nose around your soul and you decide to fly or
jerk.
words still breathe long after the impulse's breath
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