Wet cobbles amplify stilettos,
pyramid lamp-posts shine.
Streetlight, briefcase road-rage,
it’s pinstriped zombie time .
Trains snake slowly from the station,
with an i-pod, Blackberry glow.
Chimes sound bounces off the platform,
arid landscapes pass the window.
Whiskers buried in tabloids,
Mind on a li-lo off the beach.
can’t miss the starters pistol,
won’t win a medal or a seat.
Rat race
-
backinblack
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Poems everybody...poems.. the laddie fancies himself a poet!..Pink Floyd-The wall.
Another good write. Mercury in you it seems. I like as well the 'Rat Race' theme here.
S3 last line I would have done..........won't win a medal or seat. No need for the "a" don't feel the integrity would
be lost here unless you wanted the "a" to mean a slight glancing pause without comma. Great.
I think you express yourself best in this meter but do experiment if you wish it expands the poet and only good can come from it.
Us poets are strange mysteries to the (outside world) so keep painting for the good of all.
Love these works.
DJL
S3 last line I would have done..........won't win a medal or seat. No need for the "a" don't feel the integrity would
be lost here unless you wanted the "a" to mean a slight glancing pause without comma. Great.
I think you express yourself best in this meter but do experiment if you wish it expands the poet and only good can come from it.
Us poets are strange mysteries to the (outside world) so keep painting for the good of all.
Love these works.
DJL