A Poem For My Grandad...
Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 8:13 pm
I got the call, then my heart hit the wall, my mum was on here way, heading to the hospital,
she said, ya granddad aint cool think he might have had a stroke,
the clouds turned dark, as my heart I felt broke, throat choke, words turn to mumbles and half spoke…..
then it’s a&e doors, like time had just paused, nurses and doctors shuffle around these cold floors,
the faces flash by, caught my granddads eye, tryna stay brave faced as my mother cry,
my gran staying strong, but don’t get her wrong, the news aint good, he really aint got long…..
tumours and shadows, x rays with arrows, brain scans with more shadows, airways that just narrowed….
So it’s a mask for his face, he so small I start to shake, my families pain I intake…..
My aunts cry… my uncles are on there way, lost for words what the hell am I supposed to say?!!?.....
So I pull the doctor away, ask whats going on?, is he gonna be ok?.....
Doctor pulls me aside and then proceeds to say….
Ya granddads not well, I wont tell you a lie, see the scans have come back, you might need to say goodbye….
Cancer started in the lungs, until the brain it come too, it could be days or it could be weeks…..
So now the sun don’t shine on these evil streets……
The room filled up as the doctor spoke, more pain and then anger, my tears fell…..
Curse this cancer to hell!!, But its destruction prevail, I bite a nail, he loves his family without fail…….
So now its…. Back to the door standing tall,…. he sees me,…. to his space, being summoned, just like when I was small….
Bloodied and bruised, hands was different shades of blacks and blues, But he still relaxed with you……
He look in my eyes, no surprise, you the oldest of my younger guys, So it was you who was the apple of my eyes… My first grandchild, first words, first step….
In his mind he kept, my soul wept…. Now it’s the next day and ive hardly slept……
to the hospital again I make my way, remembering them better day,
watch that Nigel Benn he used to say, Prefered Eubank but I let him have his way,
eating egg and chips on a Saturday afternoon, whilst my uncle played music to loud up in his bedroom,
with his chair prepared all he need a cup of tea, about quarter past 3 yeah that’s where he would be,
later to the pub, few pints coz he had to catch up, baccy and rizzla and now he rolling it up…..
he accepts him mistakes, but couldn’t live fake, look in his eyes if its his hand you shake….
He not gone yet, Looking to out live the queen……
Clean vest and a shave, olour returned so he back from the grave……
Grimm reaper can return back to his cave, Coz Ron Hibbert aint never been no cancers slave…..
The oxygen tanks switched on, The brains swelled but not gone, He really cant last long…
Skinny and frail, his body is starting to fail, His eyes look bigger, soul is now ready to sail…..
Sores in his mouth, and his controls gone south, The failings of health, Im feeling destroyed within myself……….
Ya know he looked at me today, Said whispered words, with the thoughts he had to say,
Scared to go away, Stay strong was all I could say, No more play….
Cant even leave his bed… cant move, and now his eyes have gone red,
I know he suffering but he leaves it unsaid…..Unhappy…..
He thought I was to big to of been me, Memory seems stuck in 1983,
More words he started saying to me, He thought I was his brother coming to see….
HIM…. To take him to his family, These questions he asking me, Can he really remember me??.....
Ya know I start to cry when I write this, His brain is lost in the blindness, Constant reminders………
I never thought this day would come…..When my granddad wouldn’t remember his son….
He called me his boy ever since I was young….
Promised to read him this poem when his body went numb,
Wait for the one, The day you leave be the death of my sun………
Pains gone, Spirit moved on, Now I don’t feel strong, Past all mixed up, this all feels wrong…..
Hear the words he said in my head, The body might of died but his soul aint dead,
Depressed but not said, picture on the shelf, I just crying in my bed…….
My hearts bled….See when that call came through,
I already sorta new, Felt like I had already had a clue, A dull ache Im feeling so blue…….
So true, I cant stop thinking bout u, for you I will always stay true……..
she said, ya granddad aint cool think he might have had a stroke,
the clouds turned dark, as my heart I felt broke, throat choke, words turn to mumbles and half spoke…..
then it’s a&e doors, like time had just paused, nurses and doctors shuffle around these cold floors,
the faces flash by, caught my granddads eye, tryna stay brave faced as my mother cry,
my gran staying strong, but don’t get her wrong, the news aint good, he really aint got long…..
tumours and shadows, x rays with arrows, brain scans with more shadows, airways that just narrowed….
So it’s a mask for his face, he so small I start to shake, my families pain I intake…..
My aunts cry… my uncles are on there way, lost for words what the hell am I supposed to say?!!?.....
So I pull the doctor away, ask whats going on?, is he gonna be ok?.....
Doctor pulls me aside and then proceeds to say….
Ya granddads not well, I wont tell you a lie, see the scans have come back, you might need to say goodbye….
Cancer started in the lungs, until the brain it come too, it could be days or it could be weeks…..
So now the sun don’t shine on these evil streets……
The room filled up as the doctor spoke, more pain and then anger, my tears fell…..
Curse this cancer to hell!!, But its destruction prevail, I bite a nail, he loves his family without fail…….
So now its…. Back to the door standing tall,…. he sees me,…. to his space, being summoned, just like when I was small….
Bloodied and bruised, hands was different shades of blacks and blues, But he still relaxed with you……
He look in my eyes, no surprise, you the oldest of my younger guys, So it was you who was the apple of my eyes… My first grandchild, first words, first step….
In his mind he kept, my soul wept…. Now it’s the next day and ive hardly slept……
to the hospital again I make my way, remembering them better day,
watch that Nigel Benn he used to say, Prefered Eubank but I let him have his way,
eating egg and chips on a Saturday afternoon, whilst my uncle played music to loud up in his bedroom,
with his chair prepared all he need a cup of tea, about quarter past 3 yeah that’s where he would be,
later to the pub, few pints coz he had to catch up, baccy and rizzla and now he rolling it up…..
he accepts him mistakes, but couldn’t live fake, look in his eyes if its his hand you shake….
He not gone yet, Looking to out live the queen……
Clean vest and a shave, olour returned so he back from the grave……
Grimm reaper can return back to his cave, Coz Ron Hibbert aint never been no cancers slave…..
The oxygen tanks switched on, The brains swelled but not gone, He really cant last long…
Skinny and frail, his body is starting to fail, His eyes look bigger, soul is now ready to sail…..
Sores in his mouth, and his controls gone south, The failings of health, Im feeling destroyed within myself……….
Ya know he looked at me today, Said whispered words, with the thoughts he had to say,
Scared to go away, Stay strong was all I could say, No more play….
Cant even leave his bed… cant move, and now his eyes have gone red,
I know he suffering but he leaves it unsaid…..Unhappy…..
He thought I was to big to of been me, Memory seems stuck in 1983,
More words he started saying to me, He thought I was his brother coming to see….
HIM…. To take him to his family, These questions he asking me, Can he really remember me??.....
Ya know I start to cry when I write this, His brain is lost in the blindness, Constant reminders………
I never thought this day would come…..When my granddad wouldn’t remember his son….
He called me his boy ever since I was young….
Promised to read him this poem when his body went numb,
Wait for the one, The day you leave be the death of my sun………
Pains gone, Spirit moved on, Now I don’t feel strong, Past all mixed up, this all feels wrong…..
Hear the words he said in my head, The body might of died but his soul aint dead,
Depressed but not said, picture on the shelf, I just crying in my bed…….
My hearts bled….See when that call came through,
I already sorta new, Felt like I had already had a clue, A dull ache Im feeling so blue…….
So true, I cant stop thinking bout u, for you I will always stay true……..
