Above my book

[lars3939]

NAD MOU KNIHOU
Svých myšlenek bičem, vyzbrojeným
ostrými hřeby ledové ironie
já šlehal své srdce a kouřící krev
se z tisíce drobných ran pozvolna prýští.
Však ještě v tom přívalu svištících ran
se náhle zachvělo marnivou touhou,
svou krvavou památku hluboko vtisknout
do tohoto vetchého šátku Veroniky,
než přijde jeho Golgotha.
Nechť rozpadne se směšný ten cár!
Krev rychle pozbude barvy.

Above my book
With the whip of thoughts, armed
with sharp nails of icy irony
I whipped my heart and smoking blood
from a thousand petty wounds idly springs.
But still in the onslaught of those blows
I shook suddenly in pathetic desire,
and my bloody memory pressed
into this tattered shawl of Veronika,
before the arrival of his Golgotha.
Let this risible rag fall apart!
Blood quickly loses colour.

PS I adore this mans work and wrote my thesis on his poetry

REVISED VERSION WITH THANKS
With the whip of thoughts, armed
with sharp nails of icy irony
I whipped my heart and,
from a thousand petty wounds,
idly springs smoking blood
But still in the onslaught of those blows
I shook suddenly in pathetic desire,
and my bloody memory pressed
into this tattered shawl of Veronika,
before the arrival of Golgotha.
Let this risible rag fall apart!
Blood quickly loses colour.

[Wabznasm]

I've been meaning to comment on this for a while now.

This is a very clear translation. It's very good.

One thing though,

is from a thousand petty wounds idly springs grammatically correct? I can't see the cohesion between the line and its last two words. The verb phrase simply doesn't make sense at the end; I can't see what is is springing because of its tense and position.

And may I be so rude as to ask if you are czech? Or do you just speak it?

(welcome to the forum)
Dave

[lars3939]

emm no I am not Czech, but I did study the language at some level. I however failed to mention the poet, which is a major mistake on my side, its Vladimir Houdek. I apologise as the man is worthy of praise and recognition.
As for the grammar you are correct however I always tend to say the words as opposed to translate, which was a fault I used to have. I do think however that an alien tongue should be said as opposed to "translated" as I find that the contexts of translation tend to rely on a knowledge which cannot be distilled.

ps may I ask if you have a knowledge of the Czech language that stems from nationality?

[twoleftfeet]

Lars,

I have to agree with Dave about:
I whipped my heart and smoking blood
from a thousand petty wounds idly springs.

- I first read this as :
"I whipped my heart and (I whipped) my blood and
from a thousand petty wounds idly springs .. WHAT?)

It would read more naturally as :
"I whipped my heart and,from a thousand petty wounds,
idly springs smoking blood."

Geoff

[lars3939]

Yes I can see what you both mean, this week is killing me, but I will submit an edited version some point later on in this week. Its nearly Christmas!

[David]

Lars, does the title absolutely have to be "Above my book"? I'm having troubles with understanding that and relating it to the poem. And I am a totally Czech-free zone.

Cheers

David

[lars3939]

Nad=Above
Mou=my
Kniha=book

Yes pretty much an accurate translation, I hope. Haha

[David]

Nad=Above
Mou=my
Kniha=book

Yes pretty much an accurate translation, I hope. Haha

Cool. So how does it relate to the poem?

[lars3939]

Nad=Above
Mou=my
Kniha=book

Yes pretty much an accurate translation, I hope. Haha

Cool. So how does it relate to the poem?

for me its the futility of reflection...its not one of the poems I looked at in detail before BUT it was one of the easier ones to translate, haha I am weak!