[English Translation]
The Gun and The Heart
I don’t know how to tell you
I don’t know how to explain to you
There is no cure
For how I feel
For how I feel
The moon says to me do one thing
The stars say to me to do another
And the light of day sings to me
This sad song
This sad song
Those kisses you gave to me, my love
Are the ones that now are killing me
But my tears are drying now
With my gun and my heart
And now my life is forever with
The Gun and the Heart
I don't know how to love you
I don't know how to hold you
Why can’t I leave
This pain I feel
This pain I feel
Tonight is so dark
With shadows so still
And the wind sings to me
This humble song
This humble song
Those kisses you gave to me, my love
Are the ones that now are killing me
But my tears are drying now
With my gun and my heart
And now my life is forever with
The Gun and the Heart.
[Original Spanish / Castilian]
La Pistola y el Corazón
No se como decirte
No se como explicarte
Que aqui no hay remedio
De lo que siento yo
De lo que siento yo
La luna me dice una cosa
Las estrellas me dicen otra
Y la luz del dia me canta
Esta triste cancion
Esta triste cancion
Los besos que me diste mi amor
Son los que me estan matando
Ya las lagrimas me estan secando
Con mi pistola y mi corazon
Y aqui siempre paso la vida con
La pistola y el corazon
No se como amarte
No se como abrasarte
Porque no se me deja
Dolor que tengo yo
El dolor que tengo yo
Esta noche tan oscura con sus
Sombras tan tranquilos
Y el viento me sigue cantando
Esta humilde cancion
Esta humilde cancion
Los besos que me diste mi amor
Son los que me estan matando
Ya las lagrimas me estan secando
Con mi pistola y mi corazon
Y aqui siempre paso la vida con
La pistola y el corazon
The Gun and The Heart - La Pistola y el Corazón
Oh, I must state the original work is by David Hidalgo y Louie Pérez.
I thought of changing some lines in English to emphasise the decision being pondered:
"And now my life is to live by the Gun, or the Heart"
but the more direct translation has such ambiguity, that I just could not bring myself to mess with it.
The lines:
"La luna me dice una cosa, Las estrellas me dicen otra"
I do not feel I did these lines justice. the Moon being culturally linked to the heart, and the stars to destiny (perhaps even the ultimate one).
Spanish is so compact, to express all that in English would be too wordy and ruin the flow.
"The Moon, my heart, says one thing
The Stars, my destiny, say another"
(Not sure I happy with that either)
I hope the vivid imagery of the original carries through, despite the plain translation.
I thought of changing some lines in English to emphasise the decision being pondered:
"And now my life is to live by the Gun, or the Heart"
but the more direct translation has such ambiguity, that I just could not bring myself to mess with it.
The lines:
"La luna me dice una cosa, Las estrellas me dicen otra"
I do not feel I did these lines justice. the Moon being culturally linked to the heart, and the stars to destiny (perhaps even the ultimate one).
Spanish is so compact, to express all that in English would be too wordy and ruin the flow.
"The Moon, my heart, says one thing
The Stars, my destiny, say another"
(Not sure I happy with that either)
I hope the vivid imagery of the original carries through, despite the plain translation.
-
NotQuiteSure
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3514
- Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 4:05 pm
.
Hi Amadis,
can I ask, what are you trying to achieve? Is it an English language version that could be sung to the same music,
or is it a translation into English (simply) to be read?
If it's the former, then this would be my take on the beginning
I do not know how to tell you
I don't know how to explain
That there is no cure
for the way that I feel
for this way that I feel
(I'd be surprised is the repetition in the last two lines works as well / has the same effect in English that
(I presume) it does in Spanish.
The Moon, my heart, she says one thing
The Stars, my fate, tell me more
And the light of the Day, he sings to me
this sad, sad song
this sad, sad song.
Regards, Not
.
Hi Amadis,
can I ask, what are you trying to achieve? Is it an English language version that could be sung to the same music,
or is it a translation into English (simply) to be read?
If it's the former, then this would be my take on the beginning
I do not know how to tell you
I don't know how to explain
That there is no cure
for the way that I feel
for this way that I feel
(I'd be surprised is the repetition in the last two lines works as well / has the same effect in English that
(I presume) it does in Spanish.
The Moon, my heart, she says one thing
The Stars, my fate, tell me more
And the light of the Day, he sings to me
this sad, sad song
this sad, sad song.
So, what it the Sun, the 'light of day' linked to? And 'the wind'?
Regards, Not
.
I am happy you asked.
My reading of the lines:
"Y la luz del dia me canta
Esta triste cancion"
Could be:
"The light of day sings to me such a sad song that I wish not to see another"
(And it is said at night, by a man with a gun in his hand)
That is the meaning that I perceive, but I lack the skill to say such in so few words as the original author.
There is also so many intentional ambiguities in this one.
i believe the writers went out of their way to not explicitly say in which direction the gun was pointed.
Inward, toward the heart of the narrator, or outward, toward a life of the gun.
So a very tricky translation, that I had to be careful with.
My reading of the lines:
"Y la luz del dia me canta
Esta triste cancion"
Could be:
"The light of day sings to me such a sad song that I wish not to see another"
(And it is said at night, by a man with a gun in his hand)
That is the meaning that I perceive, but I lack the skill to say such in so few words as the original author.
There is also so many intentional ambiguities in this one.
i believe the writers went out of their way to not explicitly say in which direction the gun was pointed.
Inward, toward the heart of the narrator, or outward, toward a life of the gun.
So a very tricky translation, that I had to be careful with.
I am not sure if my simple translation could work as an english song to be sung.
I was not thinking of that, just admiring the poetry of the authors, and doing my translation thing.
(It is a bit of an obsession with me)
One could do hundreds of translations of any Language piece, any serious attempt would suffice, but they would all be lacking in some way.
For translation, I feel there are two roads you can travel:
1 - Stay as close to the intention of the author as you are humanly able
2 - Write your own piece, and call it "Inspired by insert name'
That is my approach, others may want to go another way.
Cheers.
I was not thinking of that, just admiring the poetry of the authors, and doing my translation thing.
(It is a bit of an obsession with me)
One could do hundreds of translations of any Language piece, any serious attempt would suffice, but they would all be lacking in some way.
For translation, I feel there are two roads you can travel:
1 - Stay as close to the intention of the author as you are humanly able
2 - Write your own piece, and call it "Inspired by insert name'
That is my approach, others may want to go another way.
Cheers.
-
NotQuiteSure
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3514
- Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 4:05 pm
.
Hi Amadis.
My original question still remains: what is the purpose of your translation?
There's still the issue with the repeating lines (not to mention, how does the 'light of day' sing at night?
)
but, would this be closer to what you think is the original authors intent?
And the light of the day, he sings to me
such a sad, sad song
that I don't want to see the dawn / that I can't bear to face the dawn.
Regards, Not
.
Hi Amadis.
My original question still remains: what is the purpose of your translation?
Right. So, contemplating suicide or a life of violence?Amadis wrote: ↑Fri Jul 03, 2020 12:27 pmMy reading of the lines:
"Y la luz del dia me canta
Esta triste cancion"
Could be:
"The light of day sings to me such a sad song that I wish not to see another"
(And it is said at night, by a man with a gun in his hand)
That is the meaning that I perceive, but I lack the skill to say such in so few words as the original author.
There's still the issue with the repeating lines (not to mention, how does the 'light of day' sing at night?
)but, would this be closer to what you think is the original authors intent?
And the light of the day, he sings to me
such a sad, sad song
that I don't want to see the dawn / that I can't bear to face the dawn.
Regards, Not
.
One of the things I find so wonderful about this piece:
The Spanish language grammar is all about who is doing what to whom.
It is built into the verbs.
It takes work to leave ambiguous what the Gun and the Heart are doing,
The authors could have pointed that gun in a single verb, if they chose.
Oh, and the wind, the wind is his conscience, or The Breath of a Christian God.
Again, I cannot go that far, unless it be an inspired by....
The Spanish language grammar is all about who is doing what to whom.
It is built into the verbs.
It takes work to leave ambiguous what the Gun and the Heart are doing,
The authors could have pointed that gun in a single verb, if they chose.
Oh, and the wind, the wind is his conscience, or The Breath of a Christian God.
Again, I cannot go that far, unless it be an inspired by....
Amadis, may I make some translation suggestions?
I don’t know how to tell you
I don’t know how to explain to you
There is no cure
For how I feel
For how I feel
The moon tells me do one thing
The stars tell me to do another
And the light of day sings to me
This sad song
This sad song
Those kisses you gave to me, my love
Are the ones that now are killing me
Now my tears, my gun and my heart ("are drying now" would be "se me están secando")
Are shriveling me up
Now my life will remain
With my gun and my heart
I don't know how to love you
I don't know how to hold you
because this pain I feel (Don't you agree that "porque" means "because" here, and pain is the subject of leave because it says "se me deja"?)
won’t leave me
won’t leave me
Tonight is so dark
With shadows so still
And the wind keeps on haunting me with
This humble song
This humble song
Those kisses you gave to me, my love
Are the ones that now are killing me
Now my tears, my gun and my heart ("are drying now" would be "se me están secando")
Are shriveling me up
Now my life will remain
With my gun and my heart
I don’t know how to tell you
I don’t know how to explain to you
There is no cure
For how I feel
For how I feel
The moon tells me do one thing
The stars tell me to do another
And the light of day sings to me
This sad song
This sad song
Those kisses you gave to me, my love
Are the ones that now are killing me
Now my tears, my gun and my heart ("are drying now" would be "se me están secando")
Are shriveling me up
Now my life will remain
With my gun and my heart
I don't know how to love you
I don't know how to hold you
because this pain I feel (Don't you agree that "porque" means "because" here, and pain is the subject of leave because it says "se me deja"?)
won’t leave me
won’t leave me
Tonight is so dark
With shadows so still
And the wind keeps on haunting me with
This humble song
This humble song
Those kisses you gave to me, my love
Are the ones that now are killing me
Now my tears, my gun and my heart ("are drying now" would be "se me están secando")
Are shriveling me up
Now my life will remain
With my gun and my heart
-
NotQuiteSure
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3514
- Joined: Wed Dec 28, 2016 4:05 pm
Yes Jackie,
Your points are well founded.
I suspect you have the language better than I.
"Ya las lagrimas me estan secando"
I forgot the golden rule of Castillian grammar; who is doing what to whom.
The tears are drying Him, so shriveling is a fairer translation.
( I'll have to think about how that goes as an expression in English)
The haunting wind is much better, I think you nailed that one.
It seems I cant stop myself from injecting my own interpretation, even when I am trying my best not to.
Your points are well founded.
I suspect you have the language better than I.
"Ya las lagrimas me estan secando"
I forgot the golden rule of Castillian grammar; who is doing what to whom.
The tears are drying Him, so shriveling is a fairer translation.
( I'll have to think about how that goes as an expression in English)
The haunting wind is much better, I think you nailed that one.
It seems I cant stop myself from injecting my own interpretation, even when I am trying my best not to.