After translating one of his smaller poems (Y Blotyn Du viewtopic.php?f=27&t=4977) and writing a poem about his death (July 31st, 1917: Hedd Wyn at Pilckem Ridge viewtopic.php?t=5051) I decided to translate another of Hedd Wyn's poems.
Born in Trawsfynydd on the 13th of January, 1887, Elis Humprey Evans, his education supressed by his working class status, made a living through farming. However, throughout his whole life, Elis had poetic aspirations. By the age of twenty eight, had won four county Eisteddfod chairs. But, his goal was for something greater; Elis desired the chair at the National Eisteddfod, the greatest honour for any Welsh poet.
In 1917, Elis was caught by the draft for the War. It was fighting here that inspired Elis to write his Magnum Opus, 'Yr Arwr' (The Hero), written in the form of an Awdl (Ode). Yr Arwr was submitted to the National Eisteddfod, and Elis finaly realised his goal; the poem won the chair. However, Elis's victory was tainted by one thing - his death at the Paschendale. The chair was awarded posthumously, and as a sign of respect, was draped in a black cloth.
For a selected collection of Hedd Wyn's poems, visit http://cy.wikisource.org/wiki/Categori:Hedd_Wyn. They're all in Welsh, but I may be motivated to translate them into English if you ask nicely
The poem 'Rhyfel' is one of Elis's most popular poems, and was actually written before he was drafted.
Rhyfel
Gwae fi fy myw mewn oes mor ddreng,
A Duw ar drai ar orwel pell;
O'i ôl mae dyn, yn deyrn a gwreng,
Yn codi ei awdurdod hell.
Pan deimlodd fyned ymaith Dduw
Cyfododd gledd i ladd ei frawd;
Mae sŵn yr ymladd ar ein clyw,
A'i gysgod ar fythynnod tlawd.
Mae'r hen delynau genid gynt
Ynghrog ar gangau'r helyg draw,
A gwaedd y bechgyn lond y gwynt,
A'u gwaed yn gymysg efo'r glaw.
War
Woe is me that I live in an age so perverse,
And God at ebb on a distant horizon;
After him, man, the lord and commoner,
Raising his ugly authority.
When he felt God going away
He raised a sword to kill his brother;
The sound of fighting is on our ear,
And its shadow on poor cottages.
The old harps that were played before are
Suspended on the branches of yonder willows,
And the cries of the boys filled the wind,
And their blood mixed with the rain.
Rhyfel (War)- Hedd Wyn
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Hi Gareth,
I was really struck by this line:
And God at ebb on a distant horizon;
- would it be stretching things too far to change "after him" to "in his wake" ?
(Obviously I haven't the faintest idea about the original text)
My only quibbles are:
"Woe is me" - which seems a tad too anachronistic IMHO
and "ON our ear"
Nice one - keep 'em coming
Geoff
I was really struck by this line:
And God at ebb on a distant horizon;
- would it be stretching things too far to change "after him" to "in his wake" ?
(Obviously I haven't the faintest idea about the original text)
My only quibbles are:
"Woe is me" - which seems a tad too anachronistic IMHO
and "ON our ear"
Nice one - keep 'em coming
Geoff
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Geoff
Thanks for the reply. I actually agree with your idea about in his wake. It does fit nicer, and although not really being the literal translation, I prefer it. In my translatuions, I like to keep as close to the original text as possible, but in this case, the actual Welsh wording isn't particularly strict or indeed clear. Thanks for that!
And the cries of the boys filled the wind,
And their blood mixed with the rain.
Its so quivering, I think is a nice word to use for it. Probably doesn't exist, but its the first one that pops into my head when I think about this line. So harsh in a poem that doesn't quite prepare you for it, and particularly effective when juxtaposed with a description of harps and willow trees. I am reminded of Abel Meeropol 'Strange Fruit' whenever I think of this stanza.
Regards
Gareth
Thanks for the reply. I actually agree with your idea about in his wake. It does fit nicer, and although not really being the literal translation, I prefer it. In my translatuions, I like to keep as close to the original text as possible, but in this case, the actual Welsh wording isn't particularly strict or indeed clear. Thanks for that!
Yes, I would agree, and personally I don't like the line. However, looking at a collection of Hedd Wyn's poems, this is very occurent and is pretty much a central tennet to his style, in much the same way as Poe used archaisms. I would hate to lose this aspect of Elis's writing. "Woe" is indeed particularly anachronistic, but I'm not sure I could bring myself to cut this line. However, On our ear - perhaps, although I will have to think about a replacement.My only quibbles are:
"Woe is me" - which seems a tad too anachronistic IMHO
and "ON our ear"
The stanze that genuinely makes me shudder is:I was really struck by this line:
And God at ebb on a distant horizon;
And the cries of the boys filled the wind,
And their blood mixed with the rain.
Its so quivering, I think is a nice word to use for it. Probably doesn't exist, but its the first one that pops into my head when I think about this line. So harsh in a poem that doesn't quite prepare you for it, and particularly effective when juxtaposed with a description of harps and willow trees. I am reminded of Abel Meeropol 'Strange Fruit' whenever I think of this stanza.
Regards
Gareth
Last edited by Amadeus on Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ha cheers. That's just me typing too quickly lolgwesyn wrote:just one point ive picked up gwaedd mewn shouts or cries not blood! gwaed is blood! so you many want to change your translation!
Regards
Gaz
Awesomeness.
"Ar drai ar orwel pell" suggests an image of sunset to me. Perhaps "Setting on a distant horizon" would communicate this semantic echo better.
Check out my translation of this poem at http://poemsintranslation.blogspot.com/ ... welsh.html
"Ar drai ar orwel pell" suggests an image of sunset to me. Perhaps "Setting on a distant horizon" would communicate this semantic echo better.
Check out my translation of this poem at http://poemsintranslation.blogspot.com/ ... welsh.html