sonnets to rational failure

[J.R.Pearson]

This number 6 of 8 part series I am writing called "8 Equations"....



Reviz
Sonnets to the Warm Pull of Gravity


There are things beyond rationality
& the warm pull of gravity. Scale models
of pyramids that keep steel razors sharp for centuries.
How an owl's wings silent as yellow smoke
in a valley of wormwood drift
weight-gone
over your sleeping eye. How every civilization finds people
in the sky. Hard to believe the face on a nickel. Believe flash-drunk
blindness & a homeless man's need for possession. Believe retractable fangs

coiled & sun-spent in heat's best swing of the hips.
Believe eyes full of sweat-stained shade
on the sheet's underside & blister resin
left white until it fills with starlight. Believe flesh waltzing the fine line
between live-wired to spinning wattage & cold-spit dead ends.





Let's unrehearse the facts. We've all slept in beds made before we're born,
headboard names & dates, predictable "plate-glass sheets"
& dreams of a miracle that slit your throat. Truth is they carry sniper rifles
& plant your prints on murder weapons. Pose as witnesses. Said I heard it all.
Said it was suicide. Toe fingering the trigger.
Said you never listened. There was something out there, salvation
with your name on it. Another second chance. Last minute misplacement
of I. O. U.'s. Truth is every morning we dig fingernails into flesh
under running water to get clean. Again. Try to leave behind thoughts

we thought were buried deep enough to forget.
The sight of our faces, throttled splayed to the earth.
Finally a toast: here's to symmetry!
Here's to falling face first into wet cement.
Here's not to death per se just a rational failure to exhale







sonnets to rational failure


There are things out there that we can't explain.
Things that torque rationality into question marks.
Things beyond the warm pull of gravity. How scale models
of pyramids keep steel razors sharp for centuries. How an owl's
wings silent as yellow smoke
in a valley of wormwood drift weight-gone
over your sleeping eye. How every civilization finds people
in the sky. Hard to believe the face on a nickel. Believe flash-drunk
blindness & a homeless man's need for possession. Believe retractable fangs

coiled & sun-spent in heat's best swing of the hips.
Believe eyes full of sweat-stained shade
on the sheet's underside & blister resin
left white & filled with starlight. Believe flesh waltzing the fine line
between live-wired to spinning wattage & cold-spit dead ends.


Let's unrehearse the facts. We've all slept in beds made before we're born,
headboard names & dates, predictable "plate-glass sheets"
& dreams of a miracle that slit your throat. Truth is they carry sniper rifles
& plant your prints on murder weapons. Pose as witnesses. Said I heard it all.
Said it was suicide. Toe fingering the trigger.
Said you never listened. There was something out there, salvation
with your name on it. Another second last chance. Unbelievable misplacement
of I. O. U.'s. Truth is every morning we dig fingernails into flesh
under running water to get clean. Again. Try to leave behind thoughts

we thought were buried deep enough to forget.
The sight of our faces, throttled splayed to the earth.
Finally a toast: here's to symmetry!
Here's to falling face first into wet cement.
Here's not to death per say just a rational failure to exhale.

[brianedwards]

Last line: per say = per se.

Enjoyed the noise of this JR, some pretty startling images too.

The first three lines are lead boots. I reckon you could get the point dealt with via a better title, and use those lines to flesh out the idea further with images and sound.

Very refreshing read. Glad to have met your pen.

B.

~

[calico]

Hello JR,
yes, this is interesting. The first line sounded a bit X-files to me, but then quickly took off with your assured sounds and images. From "let's unrehearse the facts" to the end I was particularly hooked. It sounds sort of paranoid and real. "a rational failure to exhale". scary. Looking forward to more sonnets!

[J.R.Pearson]

BE, yeah the first lines are lead...so in the reviz I cut them. Initially they were in place to establish the voice needed to write this in. The voice of everyman...tho a paranoid everyman. Thanks for the edit! The tool of trade that shows thru in my work are the images. Heavily influenced by Ed Pavlic & Tristan Tzara.....altho atm I am enjoying your hometown boy Keston Sutherland...the man has chops. Thanks again for the good read. I know this is not what generally is posted here..


Hello Cal, yeah that last sonnet was the turn in the two sonnets. I was aiming to use two sonnets as an organized one monster sonnet of 28 lines. Kind of an extrapolation of the regular 14 line package but with the second answering the topic raised by the first....hope that makes sense. In this case the second became more precise & heavy; whereas the first was more setup than anything else. Inside both sonnets are the norm turns and breaks..Thanks for the look in!


Best,
JR

[paisley]

JR - love the new title.
I have a little problem with some of the phrasing, it seems to waffle between understanding and believing. I would like it to be about understand OR believing. It starts with understanding and moves towards belief.

Believe eyes full of sweat-stained shade
on the sheet's underside & blister resin
left white until it fills with starlight. Believe flesh waltzing the fine line
between live-wired to spinning wattage & cold-spit dead ends.

I have no idea what these words all add up to but i like them and found myself wanting to understand and figure it out. They sounded nice too.
And then...

Let's unrehearse the facts.

Don't really like unrehearse and although I am not against it as a word, it feel forced. It is clever but is too hard to say, it interrupts the flow of the previous, disrupts the flow. And when the next bit spills out like an assault, a knife to the heart
it would have been more powerful if I had not been nudged out of the trance you put me in, like that vampire.

Interesting images and rambling, it turned my head enough to read it a few times trying to see it clearer.
I like the ending. I understand it quite well. failure to exhale and next thing you know, you are dead.

Just my two cents, oh, yes... Lincoln is on the penny. Who is on the nickel?

[Arian]

I haven't read the original, but there's definitely a lot to enjoy in this latest version. I won't claim that I managed to extract any kind of meaningful message from its entirety, and I'm not sure you meant to convey one, but there's some admirable sequences in terms of both sonics and imagery. Simple statement, too, is occasionally given a fresh twist, as in:

How every civilization finds people
in the sky.

And I absolutely loved:

Let's unrehearse the facts.

The promise, the sheer mouth-watering promise, of such an invitation, coupled with its perfect metric, is beautifully poetic (to my ear). It's a pity you (it seems to me) let the reader down by going on to - apparently - rehearse the facts.

Still, this is to impose a meaning on something which may well not have one - as I say, there's enough in there, for me anyway, to make the piece enjoyable, with or without total clarity of message.

Cheers
peter

[brianedwards]

The repetition of the title in the main body is a bump for me, especially occurring so close together.

I'll add my applause for "Let's unrehearse the facts" too --- splendid line.

B.

[Arian]

The repetition of the title in the main body is a bump for me, especially occurring so close together.

I seem to be going through an "I agree with Nick" phase, except in my case it's Brian. But, I can't help it, I just do. The same thing occurred to me.

cheers
peter

[J.R.Pearson]

Peter, thanks for stopping in on this one! Your thoughts helped me see the flaws here. Glad it translated for you despite the lack of traditional narrative. It's really a feeling underneath speech that I am trying to convey. This is one of 8 poems in a "epic" of sorts that I am working on.....a kind of exploration of death in life. The why of it all. But it avoids the narrative in the sense of linear movement. Instead it shifts in & out of reality...

I have changed the title again.....sigh

Sonnets to Symmetry

Hope that works better....

BE, yeah new title. IT hasn't been sitting with me well either....


Best,
JR

[clarabow]

Just to let you know I thought the imagery in this together with original lines is great. I wrote a longer comment but spent so long on it I was timed out! So this is the shorter version. I did get slightly lost as there is so much to take in which made me wonder if the imagery was slightly leaving the thoughts behind, but a minor detail in excellent writing.

[J.R.Pearson]

Clara, thanks for the encouragement! Glad this translated..