Paradoxes

[nar]

You'll need unenriched uranium,
vial of cyanide,
gaffer tape, Geiger counter,
slice of buttered toast,
soundproofed steel cylinder;
sealed at the bottom,
trap door at the top
relayed to spring loaded lid,
and six feet high, just over
one cat-length in diameter.

Attach toast securely,
butter side up with tape,
place your payload
on the trap door,
closing the lid
to release the relay,
thereby activating
the trap door.

Then wait,
until curiosity kills.

[oranggunung]

Neil

Just wondering, as you’ve got paradoxes and cats and boxes, whether Schroedinger should get a mention?


og

[nar]

Hi, og.

I didn't want to specifically mention Schröedinger, I was hoping he would be implied.

Cheers,

- Neil

[Sharra]

Neil - I like the idea of this - I agree with og though, I wonder if you would be better actually mentioning Schrodinger? The reason I think this is because the poem does hit us over the head with him, and without mentioning him it feels like you're trying to be subtle and failing. (If that makes sense?)
I really liked the buttered toast in here, and wonder if you could add some more similar cat ideas?
Sharra
x

[bodkin]

Hi Neil,

I completely disagree, mentioning Schrödinger would be over the top.

The juxtaposition of Schrödinger's Cat, the Buttered Cat Array and Curiosity killing the Aforementioned is just right to my mind.

Enjoyed.

Ian

[Suzanne]

gaffer tape, Geiger counter,
slice of buttered toast,

Three of my favorite things!!

This was interesting but i got lost in some of the visuals. Left on my own, there were too many details to put together without more detail.
A bit more detail of the parts or less parts would make the bottom line more powerful. I liked the idea of using the saying as a "punchline" thought.

The thing about it is that I want to see it clearer because it is interesting, so you have provided a good hook.

Suzanne

[Denis Joe]

I don't go along with the need for the poet to explain. I sometimes think that it is our duty to confound and to be confounded. So mentioning Schroedinger's cat is, in my opinion, a no-no.

What I would suggest though is to get rid of that last line, it doesn't give any sense to the narrative it comes across as an attempt to provide something familiar and takes away something of the uniqueness of the poem.

Me Like!

[Ros]

I like this. I agree that you don't need to mention the man himself. I guess you could change the last line to something mentioning curiosity, without adding the kills - but I think it's fine as it is.

Ros

[bodkin]

I think if you _really_ wanted to mention Schröedinger, you could, but you would have to mention him in some context tangential to the subject matter, e.g. have him putting food in the cat's bowl...

But I probably wouldn't, myself...

[nar]

Thanks, everyone.

I'm not sure where to go with this one. Opinion is split about mentioning Schröedinger.

Sharra: I thought about adding more cat ideas, and got stuck. I wanted to stay with the paradox theme, but couldn't think of any more with cats!

Suzanne: I'd like to explain, but perhaps uncle Google might do it better. (buttered cat paradox, Schröedinger's cat).

Denis Joe: I know what you mean about the last line. Originally it was:

"Then wait, until curiosity kills
you."

Not sure if that works better or if it should just get scrapped.

Ros: Cheers. I'll also take on board your thoughts about the last line.

Ian: I don't _really_ want to mention him at all, I think there are enough pointers, but I like your idea. Perhaps he could be the one buttering the toast?

Thanks everyone.

- Neil

[bodkin]

Ian: I don't _really_ want to mention him at all, I think there are enough pointers, but I like your idea. Perhaps he could be the one buttering the toast?

Oh, I like that...

Probably more because it is humorous than good poetry, however...

but that's me all over.

Ian

[ray miller]

I thought the ending was the best part. It's either that or Scatter!
Why is it that cats are better fall guys than dogs? It's too easy to fool a dog, I suppose.
Nice poem, the payload's heavy enough. Why toast, though, even buttered toast? I've never known a cat who went for toast and I've had far too many cats.

[twoleftfeet]

Great stuff, Neil.

Is the idea that the Cat wants to know which way up the toast lands, I wonder?
Don't cats always land feet paws-first?

Curioser and curiouser

Geo

[nar]

Ray, Geoff.

It's about cats, and buttered toast, and gaffer tape and a six foot hight tube with a trap door and uranium.

Google will help "cat buttered toast".



Cheers guys.

- Neil.

[twoleftfeet]

Neil,
I meant that the cat would be tricked into activating the Schrodinger experiment .

A cat with toast strapped to it's back is indeed an intriguing idea!

[nar]

That's it Geoff. The Shroedinger bit only happens if the cat hits the bottom of the cylinder. And since the lid is shut, we won't ever know if that happens. Unless we are curious enough to open the lid. I think!

- Neil.

[brianedwards]

I'll add my vote for not mentioning the man himself --- it's implied effectively enough.

I like this Neil.

B.