I Tried Telling You Nicely

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
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Dont
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:48 pm

Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:24 pm

Just dont
My main problem
This that I'm awfully melancolly
Sing me a loving melody
But all your love will never be enough for me

So guess
Take your pick
Just give me that adoration
Any kind of romantic relation
Honestly your just a good distraction
Light relief
I'll tell you what

Through all of this
I'll always see you with her
Them
She
And my stomach convulses in me
How you've consumed me

And yes
I know
It was me

I split us in two.
But now I dont know

Why

How

When

- So just dont

I dont want you back
I really dont love you

Just stay away from her

Just dont.
Regret would require less arrogance
k-j
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 3004
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2005 10:37 pm
Location: Denver, CO

Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:28 pm

This doesn't do a lot for me. There isn't really a lot there, you know? The other one had substance and style; this doesn't really have either.
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