...Ferris Wheel

[lemur]

He Was Going to Meet Me by the Ferris Wheel


Bring me
the coruscating certainties

of a stone,
or a ring.

Not this bedizened
tilting tambourine,

this winking ellipsis,
this doughnut hole,

this wry rictus
taking the piss.

[Ray Trivedi]

Beautifully laid out. Great expressions.

[barrie]

Had to get out the dictionary for this - 'rictus' sounded like a good word to insult someone with - still does. I liked the poem, every line was a jewel (in a ring). Last line was good - not a jewel, more like a uric acid crystal.

nice one

cheers

[pseud]

Imagist indeed. Arco would be proud of you.

I really liked

Not this bedizened
tilting tambourine,

this winking ellipsis,
this doughnut hole,

No criticisms, just praise.

- Caleb

[lemur]

Thanks. I was trying to get the poem to be the equivalent of a slap in the face...don't usually write them as short as this but thought it suited the topic better.

Cheers.

[camus]

Every line a winner - excellent as usual.

Rusholme Ruffians anyone?

I'll post in Music and Song Lyrics.

cheers
Kris