not a pretty poem

[desiderata]

guilty as sin

my belly sucks in mud and dirt and flies
to fill the hole left by your abstraction

consuming anything I have to hand -
I’d eat rubber if I thought it would hurt

enough but nothing does; so I go on
cramming in the poison that numbs me

and when it gets too much I hit eject
pulling the plug on the night’s indulgence

today my mouth feels hollow, sores have formed
and ulcers gape in shameful exposure

if you could see me now, a broken doll
that crawls and spews and mewls and sprawls in spurts

of crooked silence, would you gulf the blot
and take my hand? for your sake I hope not

[Bombadil]

Desi,

A bit masochistic and very gritty...

I like it.

Some difficult lines, if I may be so bold:

enough but nothing does; so I go on
cramming in the poison that numbs me

and when it gets too much I hit eject
pulling the plug on the night’s indulgence

Where would you be leading me here? Not sure...

But some very keen ones too...

if you could see me now, a broken doll
that crawls and spews and mewls and sprawls in spurts

This is great, I love the trudge from aw ew ew aw, wonderful wording.

A good piece says I.

--A.S.

[desiderata]

thanks....it was difficult to submit this one. as for the difficult lines - i think i just wasn't brave enough to be more direct, so i may have bungled it a bit!
des

[Bombadil]

On second read and basing from your reply, I say this is Dickinson-esque in terms of duplicious theming (if you could say that)...perhaps not death but something much more, eh, lusty...perhaps?

[desiderata]

it's interesting you should interpret it that way. it's actually about vomiting but i think the character in the poem probably abuses sex in the same way as food, drink, drugs....
d
x