Fish Bladder

[brianedwards]

Fish Bladder

If only I could fake my own death
and you'd release that herd of mustangs.

We're not in the business of hope.
I have no cards to turn over for you.

Two opposite walls trapped
in a silent wrestle for the light switch

till dusk arrives with its colourful pills
and lush upholstery

furnishing excursions into madness.
Let's circle around each other anyway,

you cross my centre and I'll devour yours,
lashing an apology to your circumference.








~

[Ros]

No idea what this is about, but I rather like it. Not so keen on the line break on 'silent'. Last verse is particularly obscure!

Ros

[Helen Bywater]

Hi Brian,

I like this. It's strong and succinct. About a relationship in crisis, I'd guess - an intense relationship. They're pulled in two directions - the desire for freedom (faking death, releasing the mustangs) versus the desire to understand (find the light switch), but fear of seeing, escaping the hopelessness with the comfort of pills, wanting to get close, but don't cross the line! Don't dig too deep. No easy solutions here.

No idea what the title's about, though.

I agree with Ros about the line break on "silent". It jars a bit.

Good stuff. Says a lot with few words. Thought-provoking.

Cheers,
Helen.

[twoleftfeet]

I'm lost with the title and the first couplet, but I'm seeing a spinning yin-yang symbol in the final couplet.

[brianedwards]

Thanks all. Don't wanna give too much away about the title just yet. There's a nasty rumour going round that I am becoming accessible!

B.

[Arian]

I like it too. Despite its slightly cubist pretensions, there's a clear mood of angst, and some sense of narrative comes through. The reader (well, this reader, anyway) certainly feels different at the end compared with the beginning. In exactly what way, is hard to articulate, but the change is there. Which makes it a successful piece on one important level, at least.

On a more prosaic level, I think couplet-3 is particularly strong in its surreal imagery, and I simply love the idea of dusk's lush upholstery.

Cheers
peter

[oggiesnr]

Er - fugu fish and the fact that the bladder contains deadly poison BUT the fish is a highly prized delicacy only available in a few restaurants with specially qualified staff?

A very enigmatic but beautiful poem (unless I'm very wide of the mark )

Thank you

Steve

[brianedwards]

Thanks chaps.
Peter, glad you hear a "change" in this, as I felt it might be a banging the same key throughout.
Steve, wonderful idea but not the one I had in mind I'm afraid. Fugu is delicious, I recommend the sashimi.

Going to adjust that dodgy line break on "silent".

B.