I hate you I hate you I hate you
Nobody has ever made me feel as bad as you do
I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you
Nobody has ever made me feel as used as you do
I hate you
I hate you I hate you I hate you
Nobody has ever made me feel so cheap as you do
I hate you
You fucker you fucker you using selfish bastard fucker
You shit on my life then walk away you should be sorry you should be
Locked up you using bastard selfish fucker fuckwit
I hate you I hate you I hate you
Nobody has ever
Nobody I
Nobody else
I don’t want
I hate
Nobody
Miss you like
Nobody
Love you like
Nobody else ever
Fuck
Fuck fuck fuck fuck
Fuck
hate language
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desiderata
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camus
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Hope you got that out of your system!
Not a patch on anything I've read of yours so far, but then I don't suppose it was meant to be.
Look forward to your more, intricate poetry.
Not a patch on anything I've read of yours so far, but then I don't suppose it was meant to be.
Look forward to your more, intricate poetry.
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
this is more than hate language - you have created a highly charged atmosphere here
its called your venting spleen or toxic virtiolic repartee -the effect of the stressed syllables used make it so emphatic and forthright
i like the variable line lengths ie short ones that impede the flow to make your point - slow and deliberate
luckily I have never encountered such a tirade, and it is a challege to read
for a gentle soul like me
be well
Arco
PS you have obviously been hurt deeply and poetry is a good way to release toxic emotions
its called your venting spleen or toxic virtiolic repartee -the effect of the stressed syllables used make it so emphatic and forthright
i like the variable line lengths ie short ones that impede the flow to make your point - slow and deliberate
luckily I have never encountered such a tirade, and it is a challege to read
for a gentle soul like me
be well
Arco
PS you have obviously been hurt deeply and poetry is a good way to release toxic emotions
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camus
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Pah,
I'm so insensitive, Arco, dear soul, has alerted me to the fact that this might be autobiographical.
Reading again, the last stanza, with its obvious awkard pauses, brings to light the absolute frustration, so yeh that bit was good.
I'm so insensitive, Arco, dear soul, has alerted me to the fact that this might be autobiographical.
Reading again, the last stanza, with its obvious awkard pauses, brings to light the absolute frustration, so yeh that bit was good.
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
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desiderata
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thanks for giving it some condsideration! i did just need to get it out of my system and was aware it would be something of an experiment. don't worry about being insensitive - once you put your heart into a poem it's fair game i reckon.
des
x
des
x
Well desi i tell you this i wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of you 
very differant from your norm,but also interesting nice poem so to speak... 
Tom
very differant from your norm,but also interesting nice poem so to speak... TomImagination is more important than knowledge,knowledge is limited imagination encircles the world.
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Bombadil
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Desi,
I knew you had it in you...
All bets off, you have an incredible sense of rhythm and its even better when you're writing out of anger or cynicism (your thyroid problem poem, in mind here).
Great stuff, hurt feelings and all.
--Keith
I knew you had it in you...
All bets off, you have an incredible sense of rhythm and its even better when you're writing out of anger or cynicism (your thyroid problem poem, in mind here).
Great stuff, hurt feelings and all.
--Keith
hI Terryd, i think to be fair to Desiderate it's a off your chest kind of experiment, and if you were to read some of Desiderate other work you would find her poetry very talanted and a pleausure to read...Only my thoughts no offense meant Cheers Tom.
Imagination is more important than knowledge,knowledge is limited imagination encircles the world.
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camus
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Terry,
No doubt you will see more of the same. In my opinion there is no place for censorship in poetry, non at all. This is a forum for adults, who if they wish to express their emotions with the foulest of language should be allowed that right.
Perhaps there should be a warning on poems containing "Foul Language" to protect the painfully innocent, I'm not sure, but I feel a "Heated debate" a brewing.
cheers
Kris
No doubt you will see more of the same. In my opinion there is no place for censorship in poetry, non at all. This is a forum for adults, who if they wish to express their emotions with the foulest of language should be allowed that right.
Perhaps there should be a warning on poems containing "Foul Language" to protect the painfully innocent, I'm not sure, but I feel a "Heated debate" a brewing.
cheers
Kris
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
Lol Camus you must of posted the same time as me, i echo what you say if i may,language should be optional if one wishes to address that route of literature,that's my consensus anyway..cheers Tom.
Imagination is more important than knowledge,knowledge is limited imagination encircles the world.
Hi again. I think it's pretty clear I don't like reading that kind of language, but it's up to every individual - it's their right - to say what they want in whatever way they want. I was writing a comment rather than a criticism.
The last thing I want is to be confrontational but I think "adult" poetry can be written using adult language. Am I odd or missing something in believing others might be very offended by stuff like this? I certainly hope it's not becoming the norm.
Terry
The last thing I want is to be confrontational but I think "adult" poetry can be written using adult language. Am I odd or missing something in believing others might be very offended by stuff like this? I certainly hope it's not becoming the norm.
Terry
.
Please let me know if you see any bad spelling or typo's!
Please let me know if you see any bad spelling or typo's!
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camus
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Well Terry,
I think you'll find that the poem in question was written using adult language.
Its difficult for some to accept, but for me swearing is a great form of expression, and used correctly can be extremely effective. That said I wasn't over keen on the poem anyway. I echo Tom's quote that you should read some more of Desis' work, that may help put things in perspective.
cheers
Kris
I think you'll find that the poem in question was written using adult language.
Its difficult for some to accept, but for me swearing is a great form of expression, and used correctly can be extremely effective. That said I wasn't over keen on the poem anyway. I echo Tom's quote that you should read some more of Desis' work, that may help put things in perspective.
cheers
Kris
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
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desiderata
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wow. thanks for your comments guys. certainly didn't expect to start that. terry, im sorry you are offended but i do not apologise for the content of my poem. i do not use this language lightly, just as i do not use any language lightly: i choose my words carefully. this poem is about the breakdown of expression; i wanted to find something poetic in a person's inability to be poetic. the first step is repetition and use of monosyllabic words, almost childlike accusations. then follows what you might call an adult attempt to make sense of the pain through harsh "hate language". both are equally desperate and unsatisfying. thus the poem ends with confusion and broken language and a marriage of the childlike simplicity with the adult emotion.
i don't think really it's an adult issue though. kids use this kind of language far more than adults these days. but if you watched a documentary about street kids fighting for survival would you be offended by the foul language they used, or would it make you sad? i think it is sad that the subject in this poem has lost the ability to express emotion other than through such crude expletives, but this is how we often debase ourselves when we have been utterly exposed.
much love
desi
x
i don't think really it's an adult issue though. kids use this kind of language far more than adults these days. but if you watched a documentary about street kids fighting for survival would you be offended by the foul language they used, or would it make you sad? i think it is sad that the subject in this poem has lost the ability to express emotion other than through such crude expletives, but this is how we often debase ourselves when we have been utterly exposed.
much love
desi
x
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Bombadil
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Terry,
You may want to steer clear of some of my stuff, if indeed you've an aversion to the word 'fuck'. If not, read "Le sous lu," that's sure to singe the short hairs...Really, I am trying to as civil and deferential as I possibly can be without sounding patronistic or condescending, but I think poetry--the good stuff--is built around ordinary language used in extraordinary ways. I have to admit, in my business, I curse more than the law allows, but I don't kiss my mother with the same mouth...similarly, I don't show her all of my poetry, but she doesn't visit this site. My point being, in agreement with Kris, this isn't a place for censorship, and I for one am quite refreshed.
That being said, if there are those in the forum (such as yourself) who are offended by purportedly foul language, I've no problem listing PG-13 or R ratings in my title headings. But if I do and it is read and offense is then taken, I'm afraid my sympathies will there end.
(With concerted effort, here goes:)
Cheers,
Keith
You may want to steer clear of some of my stuff, if indeed you've an aversion to the word 'fuck'. If not, read "Le sous lu," that's sure to singe the short hairs...Really, I am trying to as civil and deferential as I possibly can be without sounding patronistic or condescending, but I think poetry--the good stuff--is built around ordinary language used in extraordinary ways. I have to admit, in my business, I curse more than the law allows, but I don't kiss my mother with the same mouth...similarly, I don't show her all of my poetry, but she doesn't visit this site. My point being, in agreement with Kris, this isn't a place for censorship, and I for one am quite refreshed.
That being said, if there are those in the forum (such as yourself) who are offended by purportedly foul language, I've no problem listing PG-13 or R ratings in my title headings. But if I do and it is read and offense is then taken, I'm afraid my sympathies will there end.
(With concerted effort, here goes:)
Cheers,
Keith