In praise of one without second

[Mic]

This head-thing
attached to this body-thing
experiencing that lavender-thing over there
- its blueness against the whiteness of the wall-thing -
is thinking about the sameness of all things.

E.g. these finger-things, indistinguishable
from this pen and from memory
of the experience (last summer, now)
of the lavender (its tall unruly blueness),
are no different from you - beloved

you-thing
with your feet propped up
on either side of a steaming bath-thing.

[Ros]

Not sure this is quite working for me, Mic (but good to see you around again!) I like the idea of the -thing but I think the repetition of it is working against the poeticy bits. The ending feels a bit abrupt - surely the other things are also happening, so I'm not getting the contrast? And I don't understand the title. I think you could expand on the contrast between same and difference, though - it's a great theme.

Ros

[Mic]

Thanks Ros!

'one without second' is from Advaita (non-duality) in which everything (the 'beloved') is arising in 'no-thing' - the idea that nothing is 'separate', or perhaps that all is interconnected. Tricky always to express as language has embedded in it the idea of subject and object (Advaita 'claims' that there is no 'individual', that there is 'no one here' - that all is indivisible consciousness 'arising' in nothing. That wall, you, me, the colour blue, is all simply consciousness 'arising')

Probably not a very good explanation.

First draft though, so will certainly be giving thought to what you've said.

Mic

Oh, and I'm also playing a bit with the title - the subject of the poem (the lover/beloved) being one without second (and the paradox/contradiction inherent in this)

[Ros]

hmm deep stuff! I can agree on interconnectedness, though not I think on consciousness arising from walls. But everything being linked is something poetry should be able to tackle.

The hooloovoo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_r ... #Hooloovoo

[Mic]

although it isn't consciousness arising from walls, but rather that walls/everything is simply an expression of indivisible consciousness 'arising'!

Er....

Yep.

Mic

[Ros]

But doesn't that imply that everything has some consciousness in it? Which is what I'd probably dispute. Or are you saying walls are formed because of consciousness?

[Mic]

But doesn't that imply that everything has some consciousness in it? Which is what I'd probably dispute. Or are you saying walls are formed because of consciousness?

The walls (according to Advaita thinking) aren't really here. There is no 'here'. There is 'no-one' , 'no-thing'. But Advaita thinkers (contradiction in terms, language with its subject/object built-in & etc) talk about a 'consensus reality'. In this consensus reality there are walls and things and 'me' and this is all simply indivisible consciousness 'arising'.

Er...

Yep.

Mic

[Mic]

All that philosophising aside, this is basically hoping to be a love poem.

Mic

[brianedwards]

I liked it more before I read the explanation. Reminded me of cummings. The spiritual nonsense didn't even register. Take of that as you will.
Always nice to read you.

B.

[1lankest]

Hi Mic,

I like the poem in essence but for me the repetition of 'thing' ruins it....is it necessary?

Here's how it might look edited:

This head-thing
attached to this body-thing
experiencing that lavender over there
- its blueness against the whiteness of the wall
is thinking about sameness.

E.g. these fingers, indistinguishable
from this pen and from memory
of the experience (last summer, now)
of the lavender (its tall unruly blueness),
are not-different from you - beloved

you-, with your legs wide open, feet propped-up
on either side of a steaming bath -
happening

[Nash]

I know I've commented on this elsewhere, Michaela, but I'll comment here too, just to keep things tidy.

Nicely done! It's a sinuous piece that draws us in and out of the poem, I particuarly like S2 (I'm always up for a bit of meta-poetry). I wonder how you feel about dissolving the boundaries further by losing the direct naming of lavender?

[OwenEdwards]

I think the "-thing" thing is a glorious failure. I appreciate the intent, applaud its consistency, but cannot say I believe it succeeded.

[Macavity]

hi mic
Loved the form. Loved the poem - a lot. Possible quibble...experiencing/experience...one is enough. I'd definitely keep the lavenders...gives balance.


cheers

mac

[Mic]

I liked it more before I read the explanation. Reminded me of cummings. The spiritual nonsense didn't even register. Take of that as you will.
Always nice to read you.

B.

Ignore the explanation! I've just been thinking recently about the idea of non-duality as a way of conceptualising (?) / understanding (?) the world/life(?)

I like that you heard an echo of EE cummings

[Mic]

Hi Mic,

I like the poem in essence but for me the repetition of 'thing' ruins it....is it necessary?

Here's how it might look edited:

This head-thing
attached to this body-thing
experiencing that lavender over there
- its blueness against the whiteness of the wall
is thinking about sameness.

E.g. these fingers, indistinguishable
from this pen and from memory
of the experience (last summer, now)
of the lavender (its tall unruly blueness),
are not-different from you - beloved

you-, with your legs wide open, feet propped-up
on either side of a steaming bath -
happening

Thanks Luke. But I must stick to my guns re the 'thing' thing - even though it is admittedly dividing opinion. Taking the 'thing' out of the poem would turn the poem into a rather beige-thing.

Mic

[Mic]

I know I've commented on this elsewhere, Michaela, but I'll comment here too, just to keep things tidy.

Nicely done! It's a sinuous piece that draws us in and out of the poem, I particuarly like S2 (I'm always up for a bit of meta-poetry). I wonder how you feel about dissolving the boundaries further by losing the direct naming of lavender?

Thanks Nash. And as mentioned elsewhere, I'm seeing whether I might be more extreme with the identity dissolving

[Mic]

I think the "-thing" thing is a glorious failure. I appreciate the intent, applaud its consistency, but cannot say I believe it succeeded.

Thanks for the candid response Owen!

[Mic]

hi mic
Loved the form. Loved the poem - a lot. Possible quibble...experiencing/experience...one is enough. I'd definitely keep the lavenders...gives balance.


cheers

mac

Thanks Mac!

[David]

I think the thing-thing works, without considering the eastern spirituality, as a classic piece of mind-body dualism for me, and captures the weirdness of experience.

Possibly I'm parodying myself by suggesting that you finish on beloved - the last three lines add nothing (ha!) for me - but very well, I parody myself.

Cheers

David

[Oskar]

I really, really like this, Mic. The philosophising flies over my head and the editorial about it in the last line of S1 is self-conscious and a definite dump for me. I'd get rid. The E.g. would need to go too.

beloved seems like quite an elderly term to use. Especially as you end, rather splendidly I think, with the object of your affection in the bath with legs akimbo!

Distinct, attention-grabbing, feels new rather than well-trodden. A big thumbs up from me.

[Antcliff]

I liked it as well, Mic...including the odd "thing" thing.

Curiously sixties in feel....a legs open, legs apart display being a "happening".

Seth

[Ros]

I agree it's the 'thing' that makes this unique - but still not totally convinced... I like the idea of exploring losing identity further, though. Will look out for the result!

Ros

[OwenEdwards]

I agree it's the 'thing' that makes this unique - but still not totally convinced... I like the idea of exploring losing identity further, though.

I would echo this. To be a glorious failure is still to be glorious.

[Mic]

I liked it as well, Mic...including the odd "thing" thing.

Curiously sixties in feel....a legs open, legs apart display being a "happening".

Seth

Thanks Seth! Legs akimbo ARE a 'happening'

[Mic]

I think the thing-thing works, without considering the eastern spirituality, as a classic piece of mind-body dualism for me, and captures the weirdness of experience.

Possibly I'm parodying myself by suggesting that you finish on beloved - the last three lines add nothing (ha!) for me - but very well, I parody myself.

Cheers

David

Thanks David & haha on the joke I did consider finishing on beloved. And is some ways it does work - just in a different way. I like the legs akimbo-thing though.

Mic