The superb lyrebird

[Ros]

The superb lyrebird


sings for half the hours of daylight,
the seven elements of his song

entwined with calls of other birds,
the ker-chunk of a camera shot,

the brief efficient whirring
of a shutter with a motor drive.

The sixteen feathers of his tail
dance and shake above his head

as round his mound the forest falls.
He imitates the chainsaw's buzz.

~

[elotrooso]

Hi, Ros.

Quite liked this. I wouldn't know a lyrebird if it perched on my shoulder, but I don't need to to enjoy this piece. A sense of Keep your head and carry on. And also a sense of fiddling while Rome burns... but made more omninous by the bird's complete inability to affect the sawing/burning down.

(I wonder, as a matter of pretty much idle curiousity, how close the saw would have to get for the singing to stop. Presumably the bird would eventually be forced to flee. But that's not really here nor there as far as enjoying this piece is concerned.)

K

[Ros]

Thanks, elotrooso. I'm pleased you got the ominousness.

If you haven't seen this, you really must:


Ros

[ray miller]

Inexplicably, I thought of Jeremy Clarkson.

sings for half the hours of daylight,
the seven elements of his song

entwined with calls of other birds,

For me, entwined with doesn't make it immediately clear that he's copying sounds, though I got the gist later on.

Maybe the poem's last 2 lines could be interchanged.

[bodkin]

How about using some more extreme poetical conceit?

Such as making the bird _be_ the things imitated?

Just a random thought...

Ian

[elotrooso]

Thanks for the link, Ros.

That is fascinating: camera with a motor drive, chainsaws! Amazing. Makes me wonder about their potential to imitate speech. Good, old David.

We are the next great extinction, rolling blithely along. We seem incapable of caring enough even for our closest cousins, the primates and the great apes particularly. How can we look in their eyes and not feel kinship and distress at their possible extinction? [Rant over, sorry for wandering off on a tangent.]

Ken

[Arian]

If you haven't seen this, you really must:
[vid clip]
Ros

Wow! You're right. Amazing!

I like the poem, too - though it sort of depends rather heavily on the clip to give it context. To make it stand alone, you'd probably have to go along the lines that Ian's suggested.

Cheers
Peter

[Ros]

Thanks, all. Not sure this one is doing enough yet. Will ponder.

Ros

[Antcliff]

What a creature!

I just have to say: what a creature!

[David]

Thanks, all. Not sure this one is doing enough yet. Will ponder.

I think it's doing very well. Great last line, but not too keen on "round his mound".

Cheers

David

[Macavity]

hi Ros,
Extraordinary clip. Deeply sad irony imitating the sound of his doom to attract a mate. For the revision an expansion on the copying of particular birds would add colour and emphasize 'superb''? Not sure the camera imitation has any relevance outside the clip unless some further narrative can establish N.? But for me the defining context is the loss of habitat.

all the best

mac

[Antcliff]

I liked the sounds of this, Ros. In fact I liked the poem a lot...but simply do not know if I would feel the same if I had not already seen the clip before reading poem. Hard to judge. But I am simply calling by to say that...post clip/with clip...it seems a good un.

And after all, surely the stylings of this bird call out for ekphrasis if anything does?

Seth

[Ros]

Thanks, everyone - I'd like it to work better without the clip, so probably need to think about it more. It is an amazing clip! Don't think the bird is terribly endangered, but it's never too much of a stretch to suggest that habitat is being lost.

Ros

[JJWilliamson]

Hi Ros

I enjoyed this poem and must admit I was staggered the first time I heard the incredible imitations. One of David Attenborough's I think.
You highlight a recurring problem through the lyrebird's plight and it's interesting that the bird is oblivious to the coming progressive improvements.
You're using iambic tetrameter for the most part, having four stresses per line, with the exception of S3L1 where I count three.

The superb lyrebird


sings for half the hours of daylight,
the seven elements of his song

entwined with calls of other birds,
the ker-chunk of a camera shot,

the brief efficient whirring
of a shutter with a motor drive.

The sixteen feathers of his tail
dance and shake above his head

as round his mound the forest falls.
He imitates the chainsaw's buzz. ...I was expecting a rhyme in the close for some reason.



~

An interesting subject indeed

Best

JJ