Conception
I inherited the map in ’53,
a thousand years in the making,
just off a street in Costa Rica
where a single candle lighted
the human parchment
with ancient letters,
and stories of heroes and villains
violated maidens
Greek blood of Thalassemia
intermingled in a rising opera.
Life is determined much by chance.
If the match sparked a second longer
her dress unbuttoned a fraction sooner
my map would have been given to another.
Conception
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I think I get the gist of it, after a few reads. I like the poetry in it, lines 4-6 and the last 4 stand out. Though the last line would be just as well adjoined to the previous 3, I think.
Why a thousand years in the making? I'd have imagined much longer than that.
intermingled in a rising opera. - not sure what a rising opera might be.
Why a thousand years in the making? I'd have imagined much longer than that.
intermingled in a rising opera. - not sure what a rising opera might be.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
Ah yes. I was expecting something about the sea, not that.Macavity wrote:The poem hooked me when I googled Thalassemia.
I agree with Ray about the thousand years, and I'm as puzzled as him (and Mac) by the rising opera, but - with the necessary background reading - it's very effective.
Cheers
David
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Nice!
I agree with these crits.
Just a little polishing needed here.
I understood the opera idea. The drama from looking back at all the lives that created our histories.
Intermingling and rising seem just to much intense action, i think.
Attach that last line.
Well done, Stever
Suzanne
I agree with these crits.
Just a little polishing needed here.
I understood the opera idea. The drama from looking back at all the lives that created our histories.
Intermingling and rising seem just to much intense action, i think.
Attach that last line.
Well done, Stever
Suzanne