Epithalamion
A decree as absolute
as the expulsion
from Eden.
Pompoms, you said,
so there they were, coiled
around the corners of the house
like a pastel tinted hydra
and hissing, until that moment
weeks later
when we side-stepped
the churning flow of friends and guests
to peer into the rafters
of a twilit barn
where they were slow-turning
over hessian bands and champagne flutes,
their dance and flare
of shape and colour resolving
into lions’ heads, bulls’ horns
and an elephant’s tusk,
like the forms on a baby’s mobile,
or the arms
of a distant nebula,
luminous, spiralling and still
waiting for the dust to settle.
Epithalamion
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(With apologies for a prolonged winter absence)
- JJWilliamson
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A tempting title and a delightful poem, Henry.
Best
JJ
Well, as I said, I enjoyed reading this poem but feel my interp', for what it's worth, has drifted away from your original intent.HenryBones wrote:Epithalamion ...Love the title.
A decree as absolute ...Interesting start as this usually concludes divorce proceedings rather than the delights of the nuptial chamber. The inclusion of 'decree' and 'absolute' makes me think of a marital transgression; unless you're referring to consummation. Whatever, I like the opening hook.
as the expulsion
from Eden. ...Absolutely
Pompoms, you said,
so there they were, coiled
around the corners of the house
like a pastel tinted hydra ...Splendid simile. Very Greek.
and hissing, until that moment
weeks later ...This scale is interesting. Wasn't expecting so much time to have elapsed.
when we side-stepped
the churning flow of friends and guests ...Is 'churning' the right word? Could be, on reflection.
to peer into the rafters ...Love those 'rafters'. They're so evocative.
of a twilit barn
where they were slow-turning ...I start to scratch my head here. I'm not sure who 'they' are.
over hessian bands and champagne flutes, ...I get the champagne flutes but what could be turning over 'hessian bands'.
their dance and flare
of shape and colour resolving
into lions’ heads, bulls’ horns ...The apostrophes are distracting. "Bulls" makes me think of Crete and a Minoan connection, but I could be way off the mark. I just feel that the lions, bulls and elephants must be significant. I can't get a handle on them yet. I remember the Lion gate of Mycenae, Menelaus and Helen, Clytemnestra, Agamemnon, Paris and the Trojan War, and can't help but think I'm leading myself up the garden path.![]()
and an elephant’s tusk, ...This rings a bell. Could refer to the ivories of Minoan Crete. There it is again, the Crete - Mycenae connection.
like the forms on a baby’s mobile,
or the arms
of a distant nebula,
luminous, spiralling and still
waiting for the dust to settle. ...I love the imagery and actually like the metaphor very much, if only I could penetrate it. Speaking of which, there does appear to be a ripple of sensuality, especially in the closing stanza. That would be appropriate, given the title.
Best
JJ
Long time a child and still a child
Nice to see you again, Henry.
Like JJ, I was struck by the apparent contradiction between the title and the opening lines. Unless this was looking back to the marriage from the point of view of the subsequent divorce.
Unlike JJ, I can't visualise pompoms coiled
around the corners of the house
like a pastel tinted hydra at all.
I really like the description of the wedding (reception?), without getting quite such a strong Mycenaean feeling about it as JJ, although that's a very attractive reading, and may even be right.
But like JJ, I enjoyed it.
Cheers
David
Like JJ, I was struck by the apparent contradiction between the title and the opening lines. Unless this was looking back to the marriage from the point of view of the subsequent divorce.
Unlike JJ, I can't visualise pompoms coiled
around the corners of the house
like a pastel tinted hydra at all.
I really like the description of the wedding (reception?), without getting quite such a strong Mycenaean feeling about it as JJ, although that's a very attractive reading, and may even be right.
But like JJ, I enjoyed it.
Cheers
David
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Thanks for the comments, as always.
I had clocked the degree/divorce connection, though now I have I'm glad it's there - I quite like having conflicting resonances in poems, so I'm pleased to discover it. I hadn't made the Greek connection - I was thinking of the zodiac - but again, I glad to have it pointed out to me. I take the points about some of the poem perhaps being hard to visualise - this comes quite immediately from a direct experience of seeing pompoms hanging from the ceiling at a wedding reception (my wedding reception, in fact) - so it might need framing a bit better, particularly the 'they' which JJ stumbled over, and which I meant to refer to the pompoms themselves ('their dance and flare' is also about the pompoms).
Thanks for the feedback
I had clocked the degree/divorce connection, though now I have I'm glad it's there - I quite like having conflicting resonances in poems, so I'm pleased to discover it. I hadn't made the Greek connection - I was thinking of the zodiac - but again, I glad to have it pointed out to me. I take the points about some of the poem perhaps being hard to visualise - this comes quite immediately from a direct experience of seeing pompoms hanging from the ceiling at a wedding reception (my wedding reception, in fact) - so it might need framing a bit better, particularly the 'they' which JJ stumbled over, and which I meant to refer to the pompoms themselves ('their dance and flare' is also about the pompoms).
Thanks for the feedback
- bodkin
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Hi Henry,
I think I am taking this as you intended it. Maybe an colon at the end of S1 so that the reader doesn't pause and try and interpret S1 in isolation from S2?
My only problem is I can't see how "pompoms" become all this:
"lions’ heads, bulls’ horns
and an elephant’s tusk,
like the forms on a baby’s mobile,
or the arms
of a distant nebula,"
It may be a "you had to be there" thing...
Ian
I think I am taking this as you intended it. Maybe an colon at the end of S1 so that the reader doesn't pause and try and interpret S1 in isolation from S2?
My only problem is I can't see how "pompoms" become all this:
"lions’ heads, bulls’ horns
and an elephant’s tusk,
like the forms on a baby’s mobile,
or the arms
of a distant nebula,"
It may be a "you had to be there" thing...
Ian
http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/