Tom Tit

[PaulSteveLaurence]

Awoken by glass clatter, I hear

milk float electric whirr, his

bottles rattle in their baskets,

as milkman delivers the clink.


"Fetch milk in", mam sharts.

Open our snowed door to find

Blue Tom Tit has been at it

again, claws stood on the lip,

beak strips the silver foil top

for a sup and winter sip,

and not made milksop, I spit


"Tit's been at cream again, mam!"[

[ray miller]

Enjoyed, Paul.

Awoken by glass clatter, I hear

Milk Float electric whirr, his - do you need capitals?

bottles rattle in their baskets,

as milkman delivers the clink. - clink just means the sound? Not local dialect?


"Fetch milk in", mam sharts.

Open our snowed door to find - I like snowed door

Blue Tom Tit has been at it

again, claws stood on the lip,

beak strips the silver foil top - stripped?

for a sup and winter sip,

and not made milksop, I spit - not made milksop, I like that, if I understand correctly - showing spirit?


"Tit's been at cream again, mam!"[

[PaulSteveLaurence]

Enjoyed, Paul.

Awoken by glass clatter, I hear

Milk Float electric whirr, his - do you need capitals?

bottles rattle in their baskets,

as milkman delivers the clink. - clink just means the sound? Not local dialect?


"Fetch milk in", mam sharts.

Open our snowed door to find - I like snowed door

Blue Tom Tit has been at it

again, claws stood on the lip,

beak strips the silver foil top - stripped?

for a sup and winter sip,

and not made milksop, I spit - not made milksop, I like that, if I understand correctly - showing spirit?


"Tit's been at cream again, mam!"[

Glad you enjoyed it, Ray.

[PaulSteveLaurence]

Enjoyed, Paul.

Awoken by glass clatter, I hear

Milk Float electric whirr, his - do you need capitals?

bottles rattle in their baskets,

as milkman delivers the clink. - clink just means the sound? Not local dialect?


"Fetch milk in", mam sharts.

Open our snowed door to find - I like snowed door

Blue Tom Tit has been at it

again, claws stood on the lip,

beak strips the silver foil top - stripped?

for a sup and winter sip,

and not made milksop, I spit - not made milksop, I like that, if I understand correctly - showing spirit?


"Tit's been at cream again, mam!"[

Glad you enjoyed it, Ray. Yes, you understand correctly, Ray. Thankyou. Yes, it is "strips" as in present tense. Edited with some of your other comments.

[EnPassant]

First S; L1, line break at 'I hear' ?
L2, line break at ''his' ?
L4 might be redundant. we have the idea already.

The rest of the poem goes along very nicely.
Enjoyed.