Colour

[ray miller]

All things were black and white with my father;
it took some years of the family’s clamour
before he agreed to acquire colour.

The promise of watching Love Thy Neighbour
in all its petty-thoughted jaundice;
or maybe there was a special offer,
as a few days before Princess Anne’s marriage
a van pulls up outside our garage,
and this little West Indian fella carries
a TV almost as big as he is
and knocks upon the front door.

I saw him from my bedroom coming,
softened up Long Shot Kick de Bucket
to hear the debate take place in the kitchen:
would Mom and Dad allow the black man in?
They struck a compromise position;
agreed to let him install the TV
but wouldn’t offer him tea or coffee.

It was over quickly, cables, buttons,
colour shone, the room was flooded
brighter than life itself.

“I ‘spec you wannit to watch the royal wedding, yeah?”

“No, I pissin’ don’t, pissin’ parasites,
never done a day’s work in their life.
I’d have ‘em shot, the lot of em!”

“Ah, dat harsh, sir, dey should just send dem
all back where dey come from! Like us blacks!”
and he laughed, a big laugh for a little man.
I’d never seen my dad go that colour before.

[NotQuiteSure]

.
Hi ray,
not sure this one works.
Like the set up, like the ending, but all the punches seem telegraphed.

S1 - 'acquire', seems a tad 'formal' (likewise 'upon' in S2).

S2 - the 'Love Thy Neighbour' reference seems almost a (racist) cliché,
and how would N know the deliveryman was Jamaican (that's an
inadvertent wrong note for me). It's a detail that isn't needed, and spoils the
'like us blacks' (revelation).
How does he knock holding the TV?

S3 - is 'softened up' yours? New expression to me. Works well.
(Might they have said 'telly'? To avoid the TV repetition).
'allow the black man in' - strong as this is, it undercuts the ending.
Maybe a bit of misdirection
would Mom and Dad allow him in their living room ?

S7 - 'big laugh for a little man' - any way to phrase this better? It's the second
size reference.
The vernacular gave me pause. Are you sure, given the context?

A little light butchery ...

All things were black and white with my father;
it took some years of the family’s clamour
before he would agreed to acquire colour.

The promise of watching Love Thy Neighbour
in all its petty-thoughted jaundice;
or maybe there was a special offer, but
a few days before Princess Anne’s marriage
a van pulls up outside our garage,
and this little fella carries a new TV
almost as big as he is
and knocks upon the front door.

I saw him from my bedroom coming,
softened up Long Shot Kick de Bucket
to hear the debate take place in the kitchen:
would Mom and Dad allow the black man in?
They struck a compromise position;
agreed to let him install the TV
but wouldn’t offer him tea or coffee.

It was over quickly, cables, buttons,
colour shone, the room was flooded
brighter than life itself.

“I ‘spec you wannit to watch the royal wedding, yeah?”

“No, I pissin’ don’t, pissin’ parasites,
never done a day’s work in their life.
I’d have ‘em shot, the lot of em!”

“Ah, dat harsh, sir, dey should just send dem
all back where dey come from! Like us blacks!”
and he laughed, a big laugh for a little man.
I’d never seen my dad go that colour before.


Regards, Not


.

[Sid]

Thanks for sharing Ray. A realistic point in time where old beliefs face new dynamics.

I especially like how they agree to let him in but just not give him tea. Absurd.

Great topic and a courageous attempt to address it from a poetically neutral point of view.

[ton321]

Hi Ray

Enjoyed the multiple puns, piss-take and parody. I think you could use a different title, if you are going to use the same word at the end. Maybe you could say your dad went purple, instead? Great read,
Tony

[capricorn]

Times change! I enjoyed the read, Ray - a very original topic

Eira

[ray miller]

Thanks for the comments. Love Thy Neighbour is a racist cliché, that's why it's there. I've changed Jamaican to West Indian. How does he knock whilst holding the TV? Well, we might assume he's put the TV down. On the other hand, them blacks has very long arms.
Softened up might be something I made up. I'll say it is, until I'm told otherwise.
would Mom and Dad allow the black man in? - I don't like the line, but I don't think I can lose it altogether.

[lotus]

dear Ray

i enjoyed your p0eming very much

which brought back also thoughts
of when Martyn Lewis of the BBC
walked over to me ( January 2001 )
at Bankie Banx's beach bar on the island of Anguilla
and we had a conversation
about society's norms and illusions

((he had somehow recognized me from a BBC program from 1995
that had included me being interviewed by Lana Wong
in Ghana))

a warm smile
silent lotus

[ray miller]

Thanks,silent lotus. What name-dropping! I knew King Kong when he was just a monkey-nut.

[lotus]

Thanks,silent lotus. What name-dropping! I knew King Kong when he was just a monkey-nut.

Ray that's wonderful !

i grew up in America in New Jersey
about equa distant from Lakehurst where the Hindenburg blew up
and Grover's Mill where the Martians landed in Orson Welles
The War of the Worlds,,
both events long before i was born.