Definitely by Anonymous

[Amadis]

I would like to write something amusing
but the bloody Muse has eaten my creativity
and picked its teeth with my funny bone
Then left me.

Pesky muses, more parasite than spirit
if you ask me.
with those bitey little teeth
and vindictive disposition

I ask you,
with a diet of music and poetry
why need such sharp nasty teeth?

Such weird looking critters
with those creepy swivelling ears
that hear thoughts and feelings
they give me the jitters

They have claws you know,
retractable claws, like cats
Satire brings ‘em out, mostly
but still sometimes they scratch
for no bloody reason!

Chemists, please invent Muse-a-cide
A spray of hydro-dooper-doo
then watch those buggers twitch
I’d like to see that, oh how I wish
of course, that’s if the muses will let you.

Oh, Muse, you are back!
What’s that Muse?
Oh no, It wasn’t me who wrote that.
I would never ...
Must have been someone else.

[NotQuiteSure]

Hi Amadis,
not sure about the title but I did like the last two lines
and the central conceit.
Some (perhaps too) brutal editing suggestions:


Untamed


(Now where's it got to?)

weird looking critters
their creepy swivelling ears
hear thoughts and feelings
they give me the jitters

why (all those) sharp nasty teeth?
and vindictive disposition
more parasite than spirit
if you ask me.
(its) eaten my creativity

They have claws you know,
retractable (ones), like cats
Satire brings ‘em out, mostly
but sometimes they scratch
for no bloody reason!

Oh, you're back!
no, It wasn’t me
who wrote that.
I would never ...
Must have been someone else.


Regards, Not


.

[jcnash]

I think the strength of this piece lies in the imagery of the 'muse beast'. For me, the final two verses are superfluous.

I's suggest a bit of a tidy in V2 and V3, perhaps get rid of the "ask me / ask you" lines and pull them together into a single verse?

Thanks,
nash

[Amadis]

Dear Anonymous

I have to agree with the comments of Not and Jcnash.
The beginning verses add a conversational tone, but at the risk of being too rambling.

The idea of The Muse as a creepy beast is interesting.

The phrasing of the last three verses could be tighter, for an easier reading flow.
(Or do you need help from The Muse to do that?

You have an idea here, but the piece could benefit from a little more work.

Regards,
Amadis.