When springtime comes to Aussieland
and you’ve the urge to walk the strand
with rascally Fido or frisky Rover,
try not to stress the Hooded Plover,
sandy-brown and black and white
and sporting a bill that’s ruby-bright.
You may detect a tubby pair
plucking fleas from the beach’s hair
or darting on pink-as-coral legs,
or come across a couple of eggs
atop a dune or above high tide.
But if your eyes are occupied
by cumuli, or you’re in a rush,
tough paws or sandaled feet could crush
those grey-brown-speckled entities.
Why don’t these birds make nests in trees
like rational birds? Are they deranged
for laying on a coast that’s changed?
Their eggs are camouflaged; a fox
might well pass by them on his walks.
Yet, lately, there’s a bigger worry
than prowling creatures, fanged and furry.
Let’s pray the writing on the sand
is not too bleak in Aussieland.
The Writing on the Sand
Great Martin. I like Plovers. I watched a programme recently that included their nesting habits, such as sandy pebbled places next to rivers. Obviously, climate change and flooding will be impactful for them. There is an irony there that nature has coded them for camouflaged places, but humans, as so often, have recalibrated to treacherous places. Then, of course, there are the 'playful' pets...our 'love' of which infecting more imbalances! I'm off for a walk myself now, but will be back (loved the sonics of 'occupied cumuli' by the way).
Bw
Phil
Bw
Phil
Right, back after a walk, no eggs disturbed, and plenty of skylark song. The tone of your poem is pitched with a persuasive balance of light and serious. There is fun in frisky/rascally/tubby and plucking fleas, but the consequences of those tough paws and sandaled feet are serious. The irony of those casual leisure urges stresses nature and environment in many deadly, careless ways. Your poem is a flag for greater awareness. I like the dig at the blinkered viewpoint so well captured in that dismissive voice for 'rational birds'
Lots of sonics to engage too. Liked the thread of ruby/tubby and coral legs/couple of eggs. The image of the birds plucking fleas from the beach's hair was great too. I presume the title is analogous to writing on the wall, an inevitable doom. Let's hope not.
Bw
Phil
Lots of sonics to engage too. Liked the thread of ruby/tubby and coral legs/couple of eggs. The image of the birds plucking fleas from the beach's hair was great too. I presume the title is analogous to writing on the wall, an inevitable doom. Let's hope not.
Bw
Phil
I enjoyed the humour juxtaposed with a a serious conservation message Miles, it really helps make sure the poem is not overbearing and preachy. There's a touch of Hairy McClary sonics in this (scatter of claws and patter of paws type stuff) and I hear the message loud and clear about Plovers. I'm no dog owner but I can be a cloud gazer.
I haven't actually seen any of these birds in Aussieland on my travels but I'll look out for them because there's a possibility I will be there again in July.
I'm in 'pay attention to punctuation' mode tonight and I can say that, to my eye, the punctuation looks perfect. Well done.
I haven't actually seen any of these birds in Aussieland on my travels but I'll look out for them because there's a possibility I will be there again in July.
I'm in 'pay attention to punctuation' mode tonight and I can say that, to my eye, the punctuation looks perfect. Well done.
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MilesTRanter
- Prolific Poster
- Posts: 335
- Joined: Mon May 23, 2022 4:20 pm
Thanks very much, Phil and Morpheus. I appreciate your feedback.
It’s nice to know that the poem is working in the ways I was hoping it would. I’m glad the serious topic and the humor are juxtaposed or balance fairly well, and that it’s not preachy (which is the last thing I would want). I’m happy to hear that the punctuation is correct. Also that some of the phrases and wording are fun.
Phil - Yes for the blinkered viewpoint of “rational birds.” I hope you had a nice walk and glad you didn’t disturb any eggs! I just came back from a rainy walk. I was totally drenched. I had a large golf umbrella which broke from a strong gust of wind. So now I have to buy another one. But we needed rain.
I agree that pets can be destructive to wildlife. Outdoor cats murder huge numbers of birds, and dogs can also cause havoc in other ways.
There is fun in frisky/rascally/tubby and plucking fleas, but the consequences of those tough paws and sandaled feet are serious. The irony of those casual leisure urges stresses nature and environment in many deadly, careless ways. Your poem is a flag for greater awareness.
Thanks for saying that! I sometimes write about environmental issues, and I’m glad it’s coming across in this poem. I’m also happy you like the sonics. Sound is important to me (as it is for you also). Yes, the title definitely hints at the writing on the wall. Thanks for picking up on that.
Morpheus - I hope you have great time in Australia. Let me know if you see any hooded plovers. By the way, I once wrote a longish ballad about the Tasmanian tiger (thylacine), which was really more like a marsupial wolf (so it’s also called Tasmanian wolf). It was very dog-like. It’s convergent evolution. The last thylacine died in Hobart Zoo on the night of 7 September 1936.
Thanks again, guys,
Miles
It’s nice to know that the poem is working in the ways I was hoping it would. I’m glad the serious topic and the humor are juxtaposed or balance fairly well, and that it’s not preachy (which is the last thing I would want). I’m happy to hear that the punctuation is correct. Also that some of the phrases and wording are fun.
Phil - Yes for the blinkered viewpoint of “rational birds.” I hope you had a nice walk and glad you didn’t disturb any eggs! I just came back from a rainy walk. I was totally drenched. I had a large golf umbrella which broke from a strong gust of wind. So now I have to buy another one. But we needed rain.
I agree that pets can be destructive to wildlife. Outdoor cats murder huge numbers of birds, and dogs can also cause havoc in other ways.
There is fun in frisky/rascally/tubby and plucking fleas, but the consequences of those tough paws and sandaled feet are serious. The irony of those casual leisure urges stresses nature and environment in many deadly, careless ways. Your poem is a flag for greater awareness.
Thanks for saying that! I sometimes write about environmental issues, and I’m glad it’s coming across in this poem. I’m also happy you like the sonics. Sound is important to me (as it is for you also). Yes, the title definitely hints at the writing on the wall. Thanks for picking up on that.
Morpheus - I hope you have great time in Australia. Let me know if you see any hooded plovers. By the way, I once wrote a longish ballad about the Tasmanian tiger (thylacine), which was really more like a marsupial wolf (so it’s also called Tasmanian wolf). It was very dog-like. It’s convergent evolution. The last thylacine died in Hobart Zoo on the night of 7 September 1936.
Thanks again, guys,
Miles
No, the poem is definitely not preachy Martin. I think 'entertainment' is undervalued in poetry. Fliss achieves this in her latest poem 'Ode to Scruffy', which was also poignant. Your poem delivers on entertainment and message. Are you intending a book on these issues?
My walk had an issue. It was in uplands which have suffered from peat erosion. Walkers were requested to use the designated stone paths, which I did, though I missed the soft earth underfoot. The skylarks were in tremendous voice!
Bw
Phil
My walk had an issue. It was in uplands which have suffered from peat erosion. Walkers were requested to use the designated stone paths, which I did, though I missed the soft earth underfoot. The skylarks were in tremendous voice!
Bw
Phil
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MilesTRanter
- Prolific Poster
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- Joined: Mon May 23, 2022 4:20 pm
Hi Phil,
I completely agree with you about the “entertainment” factor being generally undervalued in poetry, yet is essential, not just in poetry but also in all the arts. I just commented on Fliss’s recent poem, by the way, which is definitely entertaining.
You asked if I’m intending a book on these issues? Good question! I’m toying with the idea of a full-length collection, which will include some poems on these topics, along with some of my pieces on extinct animals. Another idea is a chapbook of just those kinds of poems. I’m still fiddling with these ideas and going through my files.
It’s great you heard skylarks! It’s not so great, however, about the missing peat moss. The peatland ecosystem is the most efficient carbon sink on the planet.
I completely agree with you about the “entertainment” factor being generally undervalued in poetry, yet is essential, not just in poetry but also in all the arts. I just commented on Fliss’s recent poem, by the way, which is definitely entertaining.
You asked if I’m intending a book on these issues? Good question! I’m toying with the idea of a full-length collection, which will include some poems on these topics, along with some of my pieces on extinct animals. Another idea is a chapbook of just those kinds of poems. I’m still fiddling with these ideas and going through my files.
It’s great you heard skylarks! It’s not so great, however, about the missing peat moss. The peatland ecosystem is the most efficient carbon sink on the planet.
Well, 'The Entertainer' was always among my favourite Scott Joplin rags! 
This is great, Miles. You showed it to me in Summer 2021, I think; I couldn't think of anything to suggest to improve it back then, and I still can't today! Very strong writing. But it's sleepy time here, so I'll take another look tomorrow and see if I can come up with something useful.
Bw,
Fliss
This is great, Miles. You showed it to me in Summer 2021, I think; I couldn't think of anything to suggest to improve it back then, and I still can't today! Very strong writing. But it's sleepy time here, so I'll take another look tomorrow and see if I can come up with something useful.
Bw,
Fliss