Still (version 3)

[camus]

Caleb,

I think it's a poem that congregates all your usual styles: The minutiae of life, the self-pitying, the longing, but with an added urgency, whether that be because of the stricter rhyme scheme, I'm not sure? But for me it's a much more accessible and enjoyable read than your usual poems.

Also admired the run-on, there are no full stops, where I might expect some, but it works. Again as an urgency.

Good stuff.
Kris

[CalebPerry]

I think it's a poem that congregates all your usual styles: The minutiae of life, the self-pitying, the longing, but with an added urgency, whether that be because of the stricter rhyme scheme, I'm not sure? But for me it's a much more accessible and enjoyable read than your usual poems.

Also admired the run-on, there are no full stops, where I might expect some, but it works. Again as an urgency.

Good stuff.
Kris

Good self-pitying stuff indeed.

Yes, I guess I'm a little self-pitying. I came from a dysfunctional family. I spent years in therapy. I've had back problems since I was thirty. I wasn't that attractive and never had a relationship that lasted more than a year or so. Now, in old age, I have non-stop atrial fibrillations which make me tired. My back has been in continuous spasm for about four years, despite the ministrations of chiropractors and physical therapists. If I have a little self-pity, I think I can be excused. You, on the other hand, have no excuse for insulting me and/or attacking me every time you say something to me. In my view, I'm doing better than you are.

As for the poem, what I try to do when writing about my problems is to acknowledge them objectively without self-pity, but apparently I am failing at that.

Please continue to insult me and attack me. I love slapping you down when you do. You are SO much more pathetic than I am that it makes me feel superior.

[camus]

As for the poem, what I try to do when writing about my problems is to acknowledge them objectively without self-pity, but apparently I am failing at that.

Yes you fail brilliantly.