Blanche Walks On Without Turning

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ray miller
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Mon Jul 08, 2024 11:34 am

ECT would’ve been your treatment
of choice, behind the façade
of a white-columned house
commandeered for industrial purpose;
a muted, metallic moth-rattle
around a lantern stripped of its patterns.
No coloured lights for you, sister,
but the locomotive thunder that
dampens the strains of a polka.
Those fingernails would require
regular trimming, depending
upon the kindness of strangers.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
NotQuiteSure
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Mon Jul 08, 2024 2:17 pm

.
Hi Ray,
I think this one falls at the last, 'kindness ...' is just too predictable.
I'm not entirely sold on 'moth-rattle' (it's the rattle part) but those first six lines are really strong.
Struggle with how 'thunder' 'dampens'.


Just a thought.

No coloured lights for you, sister,
just the locomotive thunder that
dampens the strains of a polka.
ECT would’ve been your treatment
of choice, behind the façade
of a white-columned house
commandeered for industrial purpose;
a muted, metallic moth-rattle
around a lantern stripped of its patterns.

Regards, Not

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Macavity
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Mon Jul 08, 2024 2:32 pm

Good one Ray. A glimpse of what lies behind the facade. I liked the detail of nail trimming, though agree with Not that the 'kindness of strangers' is too familiar. And what is the nature of this kindness? Sentiment? Discomfort? Perhaps something satirical like 'the whimsy of strangers'.
ray miller
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Mon Jul 08, 2024 6:05 pm

Thanks fellas. The poem's imagining what happens to Blanche Dubois after the end of A Streetcar Named Desire, hence the kindness of strangers line.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
Macavity
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Tue Jul 09, 2024 12:56 am

Fair enough Ray. The Tennessee Williams character was obvious, but I lazily didn't think about the quote. Not directly related, but I read a novel last year called 'A Terrible Kindness' (partly about the Aberfan tragedy). Well worth a read.
ton321
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Wed Jul 10, 2024 6:43 pm

Hi ray

It's a long time since I read "a Streetcar Named Desire" and has made me want to read it again now I'm all grown up. Loved some of the phrases-"muted metallic moth rattle" and "locomotive thunder that dampens the strains of a polka". Ill chime in with the others about the last line
Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
ray miller
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Fri Jul 12, 2024 8:30 am

Thanks both.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
NotQuiteSure
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Fri Jul 12, 2024 11:20 am

Macavity wrote:
Tue Jul 09, 2024 12:56 am
after the end of A Streetcar Named Desire, hence
But doesn't the title already set the scene?

Regards, Not

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