incoming

[Swing of the sea]

incoming

creep
foot by foot obediently
in line ahead minding my business
boy aged seven, maybe eight vigilant feral
scanning for the faintest flicker of implied consent
between the sleek cars in the sandy drift

get
money from the money supply
prepare a votive offering
to the velocity of circulation
get ready in case it’s me transgressed
beside the careless litter in the shiny car

there
he goes wipe scrape slide and slosh
cloth and squeegee in a watery dance
neither trade nor aid in this petty transaction
animated by the need of some poor kid
yet it’s not indignity or the trivial cost
just not the windscreen I wanted washed

[twoleftfeet]

Hi Swing,

I can't find anything to moan about.

I like the way you reinforce the meaning of "creep" by isolating it
on a line, and was impressed by your description of eye contact:

"scanning for the faintest flicker of implied consent"

In stanza 2 I'm afraid I'm missing something - I'm puzzled by
"velocity of circulation" and "transgressed".

In stanza 3 the futility of the exercise is perfectly captured by
"neither trade nor aid in this petty transaction"

Your out-line is interesting in that it implies that there IS something you want washed.
Some kind of guilt trip would tie in with "votive" and maybe "transgressed"
but now I am just fishing....

Thanks for the read
Geoff

[barrie]

'scanning for the faintest flicker of implied consent' - Like Geoff, this was the line that caught my eye - Reminded me of the hawk-eyed auctioneers that can spot an eye-blink at fifty yards.

'....... a votive offering
to the velocity of circulation' - I liked this - Sounds like you were prepared to fork out for speed and efficiency. After a few reads, I was seeing 'Velocity of Circulation', as if it were the boy's title.

I've never encountered this sort of thing (got rid of the car over ten years ago), didn't know they started so young. All I ever got was -"Can I mind your car Mister?" when I parked up near Maine Road on a match day.

Watery opening to the last verse and a mysterious end line - Or was it? Maybe you were just saying that you'd have given him the money out of charity - but how would that have made him feel?

nice one

Barrie

[Lia]

A fine read, Swing of the sea.

I haven't seen kids doing this either, but have certainly been attacked by fellows with there buckets and sponges whilst sitting, minding my own business, at the lights.

My loose interp of the last line was the rest of the car, but perhaps I'm thinking of my own now, and it always can do with a clean!

Lia

[Swing of the sea]

Hi chaps, thankyou for your comments. "Circulation" is a play on "traffic" as in the French for traffic and "velocity" is of course irony in the sense that the car is barely moving. It is all a pun on the economic axiom "MV=PT" or money supply x velocity of circulation equals price level x the number of transactions. Trade and aid alludes to child labour in the poorer parts of any poor country you want to mention. The title alludes both to "incomes" and the cry of alarm as artillery is fired at one. Here "incoming" is the attack of the dreaded squeegee mob. I leave to the reader how to interpret

"just not the windscreen I wanted washed".

It would depend on one's moral outlook. It could be, as Geoff spotted, a sideways reference to the act of contrition by washing etc. etc. It is open to other interpretations of course. Have I explained too much? Hope not!

PS the lack of "capital" letters.... oh forget it!..... ha ha.

DG

PPS are there any other "economics" poems? They say The Wasteland has economic bits in it...is this true?

[Swing of the sea]

slip of key