Dedication

[RobertFlorey]

Dedication

A rich man's trophy,
plucked for beauty
is a courtesan; whereas
a soul-mate is a wife.

And a poet is no artisan,
a poet is a life.


.

[dillingworth]

i'd be curious to know what this is a dedication for. i like the final couplet, although the initial "and" seems unnecesary and spoils the meter. other than that, this is so short and sweet there's not much to dislike: however, the "soul-mate" idea is very worn indeed (1.3 million google hits).

welcome to the forum. i really liked "giselle/gazelle" by the way.

[Merlin]

Yeah - I enjoyed this...

Is there meant to be a comma ,after; beauty ?

The flow is sweet - I am unable to see the the connection to both parts though...

But that's probably just me

Nice job

[Wabznasm]

It's a fun little piece, but feels a little rootless by itself.

Saying that, it reminds me of a good poem I read once where the poet simply cherry picked a dedication from a graveyard and stuck it in his collection. You do a bit more than that obviously, and whilst the last line does have a rather appropriate resonance, I think this is still a collection piece and doesn't really stand entirely independent.

Dave

[beautifulloser]

Hey Rob

Great crit from Dave, which I do agree with. It's a good piece though, good title, punchy. Like it a lot, as Dave said, I think it would be one of those little sparkling gems that you come across in a collection which jolt you're brain.

Very memorable. Nicely done.

Beau
x

[Elphin]

Robert

Enjoying reading your work - this is a nice little nugget for a reader to chew over.

Only difficulty I have is connecting the two halfs.

Elphin

[RobertFlorey]

i'd be curious to know what this is a dedication for. i like the final couplet, although the initial "and" seems unnecesary and spoils the meter. other than that, this is so short and sweet there's not much to dislike: however, the "soul-mate" idea is very worn indeed (1.3 million google hits).

welcome to the forum. i really liked "giselle/gazelle" by the way.

Thank you, Dillingworth!

The dedication refers to the dedication that a poet must put into her/his art.

As to 'soul-mate', my own preference is to use the best word for the
circumstance. "Short and Sweet" gave me 4,360,000 English Pages.

Every two word phrase you might put in, I expect, would show a
cliche. But the poem is speaking to the difference between a
dilettante husband and awife and soul mates. How else would one
say it in that many syllables; what's the non-cliche replacement?

I'm really asking. I'll use if you can think of one!

I was not sure about the 'and' myself when I put it in.
I suspected that I would need it as a clue to the connection
between the first verse metaphor and it's repeat in a slightly
different form in the second. I know that one is supposed to
trust one's readers to figure things out, but then again, real poets
know how to put in exactly enough information, and I'm not
a real poet by a far shot...

Thanks again!

[RobertFlorey]

It's a fun little piece, but feels a little rootless by itself.

Saying that, it reminds me of a good poem I read once where the poet simply cherry picked a dedication from a graveyard and stuck it in his collection. You do a bit more than that obviously, and whilst the last line does have a rather appropriate resonance, I think this is still a collection piece and doesn't really stand entirely independent.

Dave

Thank you for responding, Wabznasm!

Here's the meaning of the piece.

"Dedication" refers to the dedication that makes both marriages
and poets and their poetry work. Both verses use the same
general metaphor, that a successful relationship takes dedication.

The rich man with his trophy wife, and the trophy wife who
marries for money, are both dilletantes at marriage, but the
couple who marries for love and companionship have the
intent to live together and be true mates.

They are constantly engaged in building a life.

The poet is not an artisan, a person who is a skilled manual worker,
she or he is totally involved in the works of art he or she produces,
hence the "dedication" and hence the poet's life is subsumed in
the product.

My own problem of course, is that I am not a dedicated poet; my
stuff is poetry-like at best. But I have a deep respect for those
for whom a poet is truly a life...

[RobertFlorey]

Yeah - I enjoyed this...

Is there meant to be a comma ,after; beauty ?

The flow is sweet - I am unable to see the the connection to both parts though...

But that's probably just me

Nice job

Thank you, Merlin for that very nice reply!

Well, I had a comma to start with, but then decided that I didn't want
that much of a pause between lines, because I wanted the
following line read quickly, to leave a dramatic pause before
"whereas."

That may well have been a bad choice. I'm not a good enough
writer to figure that out.

The piece has an extended metaphor running through it.

The first verse speaks to the difference between a man who marries
for the sake of having a trophy that other men will envy, and the
couple who marry for love and companionship, in order to live
an entire life together, and build something for the ages, especially
if they have children.

The metaphor is intended to extend to the second verse, which
says that a poet is not merely an artisan, a skilled manual laborer,
but is creating a body of work which means more than the separate
pieces he or she builds. This is the difference between an artisan
and an artist.

The poet and his works (which include the readers of them)
are like the truly married couple: the relationship between the
creator of poetry and the reader, through the medium of the
written or spoken word, is like the greater sum of the true
marriage, and both require total dedication to be masterfully
successful. Hence the title.

Thanks again!

[RobertFlorey]

Hey Rob

Great crit from Dave, which I do agree with. It's a good piece though, good title, punchy. Like it a lot, as Dave said, I think it would be one of those little sparkling gems that you come across in a collection which jolt you're brain.

Very memorable. Nicely done.

Beau
x

Well, what can I say but THANK YOU!