Passing By

[Lake]

Looks like the majority is against 'pavement'.
What I feel (I feel) is that 'field' is a more general term, gives a sense of vastness, distance, freedom while 'pavement' more specific, close, local, familiar(Barrie's word) and hometowny ( I'm brave enough to make it up). It reminds me of 'lane', 'alley' I used to walk through on my way to school.

Just me though.

[doves]

Basically coming from a senior member of this forum,this poem is average,does not display any poetic vision or imagination,banal.

[barrie]

Oh, I see - You're having a little tantrum because you've been told to stay in Beginner's. Let's quote one of your PMs to me -

i am very good,you lack poetic vision or any kind of fire,which is why you will never understand my poetry,and having read your own poetry,your just a layman.

This is just one of your arrogant replies telling me how good you are - how you are the best poet in Beginner's - I wonder how the other's will feel when they know how you look down on them!

If you don't like it here doves, if your god given talent's going unrecognized, just fuck off.

[doves]

that is a terrible attitude coming from a moderator.

[David]

doves, no doubt you'll regard this as the old guard closing ranks etc., but I don't see it like that. You just have to observe certain proprieties of manner and tone. If your posting was a tackle on the football pitch, it would be a two-footed lunge warranting instant dismissal (albeit one that did its recipient no harm).

Just settle down, lighten up and have fun. That's a yellow card.

If you do feel aggrieved by anything or anyone, then pm somebody, me, any of the mods. Don't channel your aggression into mean-spirited sniping in the forums. (Fora? I dunno.)

David

P.S. I started typing this before the last Barrie - doves exchange, so clearly things have escalated. Still, guys - calm down, calm down.

[doves]

well ok,the whole board just seems amateurish to me.

[David]

Ah come on, you're just sulking now, aren't you? Of course it's amateurish - we do this for the love of it.

Now let's see a great big dovesy smile. Don't make me tickle you.

[Oskar]

doves

Are you just passing by?

If so, hurry up.

[doves]

damn where am,is this a dream?,are there any thieves of fire in here.

[David]

damn where am,is this a dream?,are there any thieves of fire in here.

OK, you probably have three choices. You knuckle down, make up and join in. You carry on making silly comparisons of yourself with Prometheus (which really doesn't do you any favours) until you get barred by your exasperated moderator. Or you can leave, under your own steam, in a more or less dignified huff.

What's it going to be? The choice is yours - but won't be for much longer.

Personally, I'd like to see you stay, as there are flickerings of promise, albeit buried under an unattractive pile of unrealistic self-admiration. But at the moment that's looking pretty unlikely.

Why don't you sleep on it?

[doves]

oh dear another moderator who does'nt know anthing about poetry,well ...,i should look at your poetry,flickerings of promise what do you know?,also who mentioned promotheus.

[camus]

Dovey old boy,

How many other forums have you been thrown off?

[doves]

who are you the queen?

[camus]

Yes, yes I am.

Please answer the question you tit.

[doves]

i havent camus,are you the outsider?

[camus]

I prefer "The Stranger"

[doves]

Sorry I'm such an arrogant little arsehole, but I really am brillliant!

[camus]

you're a moderator??

No, I just pretend to be.

[lunardove]

like this nice flow,anymore of your poetry in here?.

[camus]

Not exactly subtle are you Mr Dove?

If you are trying to make amends for your idiocy, just be truthful, that way you may garner a little respect and carry on regardless.

cheers
Kris

[lunardove]

what are you talking about camus?,i am new to this group.

[camus]

OH,

My mistake, your non cap and close comma approach reminded of another Dove, silly me.

COR.

[lunardove]

oh not to worry mr camus,by the way have you read nausea by sartre?

[camus]

No I haven't.

Although I do tend to side on his most famous quote "Hell is other people"

[kozmikdave]

Gidday [unlock - scribble - lock]

Just wanted to comment.

Good poem, barrie. About the pavement... have you thought of using "paths" instead of "fields". "Friendly fields" is a bit cliche (not that I can talk, recently). You'd lose some alliteration, though. Maybe some other alternative.

You begin the second verse with

So began these swifter days

The "so" doesn't quite work for me. I read it and expect it to be part of a complex if-then-else idea, and I can't see that in there. Oh well....