Esau

[David]

Jacob was a smooth man
with a resourceful mother.
He was his mother's favourite,
she did not favour hairy men.

Beware smooth men
and their startling propositions.
Birthrights and blessings
are surprisingly negotiable.

Cursed be the father
with only one blessing,
and nothing for the slighted son
but lachrymose regrets.

There is no plain dealing in Genesis.
Look for yourself.

[barrie]

The second verse is really well done - and I thought Jacob was simple farmer - now he's sells insurance, deals in mortgages and secured loans - nice one.

He was his mother's favourite,
she did not favour hairy men. - According to Hebrew folklore, Esau tore Rebekah's womb at birth - denying her any chance of more children. No wonder she bore a grudge (but they all did then, for some reason).

Cursed be the father
with only one blessing,
and nothing for the slighted son
but lachrymose regrets. - If he had only known. Apparently, Isaac's blindness was caused to spare him the knowing looks from his people, who were aware of Esau's sins - theft, murder, sodomy - you name it. He was also blind to Jacob's double dealing.

There is no plain dealing in Genesis.
Look for yourself. - A really good ending - As it was in the beginning...so it continues today.

You write some good stuff, but this is the best I've read in a while.

Barrie

[Elphin]

David

This is one of these deceptively simple pieces that contains so much beneath the surface. I did have to brush up on the Esau story to entirely get it.

i think the Esau-hairy-smooth theme is particularly well done and the link to the modern smoothie "smoothly" done. There is no plain dealing in Genisis I like.

One observation - does s3 interrupt the flow of the others which are clearly about the Jacob-Esau dealings and their modern equivalent. Is the father dimension another aspect of the esau story? Remember I did have to brush up so maybe my take is askew. Were Jacob and Esau eventually reconciled and did Jacob get his comeuppance?

I agree with Barrie this is a good un.

elphin

[barrie]

The pair were reconciled, but it was the wronged Esau who put in the biggest effort. He called the swindling Jacob, brother, vacated the land that he'd been robbed of when he was starving, and, having given up hunting to become a succesful pastoralist, could afford to turn down a 'conscience' gift of cattle. He also prepared a royal welcome for Jacob on Mount Seir.
As to Jacobs comeuppance, I suppose you could say that he suffered for many years after his favourite son, Joseph, was sold into slavery by his brothers, ending up in Egypt.

Barrephus

[beautifulloser]

Whoooooooosh! Too many esoterical thelogianisms for my naive sensibilities David, though as you know, I admire the epistomological depths of the branches it's bending on. Right now, here and now, says nothing to me aside from a someone who likes freshly plucked pecs - but you know, there's a valid subjective modern day trusism in there, though I'm not inclined to the last turkey on the rack rack sort of fallous affair, personally

But, you know, what do I know . . .

Beau
x

[David]

I thought this might be your sort of thing, Barrie. You know loads more about this than I do, it's just that I've been including a few chapters of Genesis in my bedtime reading lately. Shocking behaviour, really.

Elph, the father bit is Jacob (admittedly himself the victim of some early dodgy parenthood). As I say above, I didn't appreciate some of the finer points of the story until Barrie pointed them out.

Beau, always a pleasure. This is probably one of my overly learned ones, although in this case the learning is pretty fresh and not that deep.

Cheers

David

[redpond]

Hello there-

I’m new. If I only manage to dive head straight into the wrong swimming pool, on a wrong day when water’s not even turned on, at least I can dog paddle in my own blood. How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?. None. The light bulb doesn’t need changing. It’s the electric and gas bills poets need to concentrate on. Salutations!

Hi David,

The 1st stanza has brevity, insight, irony, crispness. You make it sound so easy to come up with a clean stanza.

I think this poem needs the vibrancy of the word, lachrymose. In order to bring that
born-again word into 21th Century, I think one would have to decide whether you want the kind
of thing you did with 1st stanza or be more full bodied. I don’t think there is not a comfortable
middle.

I thinks the second stanza falls a bit. Is it essentially a commentary on the 1st observation and
for me, repetition of the same motif. Startling proposition. Surprisingly negotiable. It seems like
you already wanted to finish the poem.

And the summation at the end seems a bit like well a comment on Genesis and at this time on Earth there is no plain dealing, anywhere, not then and certainly not now... which in the context of the poem is a very good thing but to end the poem with it.... mmmm?

I think you left out the most important character Esau

When I hear sibilants, especially my own work, I see where I am offerings only a vapid sounds
which in English is the “S,” sounds. I stay away from assonance's that
tinkles and puts too much emphasis on the meaning like putting a harness on a horse. For me, it immediately makes anything you want to say into a workhorse.

Now with this in mind, I’m sure you have heard of Rimbaud and his Illumination. Perhaps it may be fruitful to once again look at his work, to see what others have done with the Bible from a different approach. “Three Gospel Moralities,” is a prose poem. With a quick dash and bold strokes, and fine eyes, Rimbaud places me right there in Samaria

What I mean about a full bodied approach to the born-again words like lachrymose is for me illustrated by Rimbaud. And by the way I think that word is the heart of the poem.

What Rimbaud did with Hortense, I just copy it here for my own edification and hopefully you
may enjoy it. The title of this prose poem is “H”.

Every monstrosity violates the atrocious gestures of Hortense. Erotic mechanics, her solitude; her lassitude, amorous dynamics. Under childhood’s guidance she has been, in numerous ages, the ardent hygiene of all races. Her door is open to misery. There, the morality of living beings is disembodied in her passion or her action. -O terrible shudder of novice loves on the bloody ground and in the transparent hydrogen!- find Hortense.

[David]

redpond, a very warm welcome to you - we have a "Hello, Good Evening and Welcome" section, if you want to mosey on over there and tell us the name of the horse you rode in on.

And that's a very thoughtful and incisive comment you've given me on my poem as well. I'm interested by, but I'm not sure I understand, your emphasis on "lachrymose". A little Latinate, perhaps? Also inaccurate, to be honest, as the tears in Genesis are actually Esau's, but I've transferred them to Isaac with very little justification, except that it felt right.

What do you mean by "born-again words"? Do tell!

It seems like you already wanted to finish the poem - that's a very astute observation. I am always looking for an excuse to finish a poem, or at least I don't like it to run on too long. It makes me nervous. I like to think of it as cool and judicious restraint, but it may just be a species of cowardice.

As for Esau, it's true that the poem is mostly about Jacob, but then that's Esau's problem in a nutshell, no? It's all about Jacob.

But what a briliant recommendation to finish with. Of course I've heard of Rimbaud and his Illuminations, but I've never read them. (And here was me just starting thinking that the biggest poetic gap in my life, now that I've almost finished Wallace Stevens' Collected Poems, was my complete ignorance of Rilke.) So thank you for copying this, and yes, I did enjoy it.

So, Rimbaud or Rilke? Alphabetically, of course, Rilke, but ...

Thanks for the comment, rp. If you can make further critical contributions elsewhere on the site, and maybe post some of your poetry as well, I'd love to read it. Come on in, the blood's lovely.

Cheers

David